A Little Indulgence

The Real ME

2009-12-09T23:06:00.002-05:00

Like me, this will totally be my daughter's song when she gets older. She's definitely her momma's little girl.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-01-19T01:34:00.002-05:00

A blogging friend of mine tagged me for this - so in no particular order here it is...

1. Random thoughts - I'm all about them.

2. Instead of writing this about myself, I asked my friends and family to fess up and offer their insight. My brother said I was lazy, hence the reason why I asked others to write it.

3. I was featured in a news story in the Orlando Sentinel when I was 2 years old.

4. After being teased that I had a boys name (Jamie), I changed the spelling of my name to be just like the Bionic Woman - Jaime Sommers. I was 8 years old.

5. I've have driven across the US four times (not including road trips up and down the east coast) and have lived in over 10 states, including Alaska.

6. I can sing the names of all 50 states in alphabetical order.

7. I od'd on orange flavored baby aspirin when I was 2 years old. No child proof caps back then.

8. I talk way too much and I can never limit my writing to just a few lines.

9. I have an amazing memory for the most obscure details of other people lives.

10. I know the local cop who pulls cars over for speeding. He's cute, and yes, I've been pulled over a few too many times.

11. I'm so terrible about adding endings to my words, one of my nicknames is ED.

12. I've cut dairy and wheat from my diet - most of the time.

13. After one year of making a serious effort to lose weight, I can finally fit into my favorite dress that I haven't been able to wear in over 12 years. I'm so proud of my accomplishment!

14. I love the old standards and melt whenever I listen to them, especially to a live orchestra.

15. After 40 years of curly hair, I'm finally appreciating it. Amazing what a great hair cut, excellent hair products and the Instyler can do to make a difference.

16. I'm really quite shy and HATE being the center of attention.

17. I have really great Parking Karma.

18. My secret fantasy is to sing and dance on Broadway, or be a Radio City Rockette.

19. I'm very attached to music. It evokes deep emotion and memories.

20. My other secret fantasy is wishing that my husband could dance like Fred Astaire and would take me out for ballroom dancing to a live orchestra every chance we could we find.

21. I'm a very passionate person who wants to save the world. I have a million ideas for the many non-profits I want to create and wish I could do each and every one of them.

22. I am not a big ice cream fan however I love Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk, but really, only for the smoosh-ins. Mmmm!

23. I'm a leather snob - I will only buy purses, belts and shoes with real leather.

24. I love to explore off the beaten path

25. I will be 42 in a few months and I'm loving life.

Mommy, What's Cocaine?

2008-12-22T13:41:00.004-05:00

This was a question posed to me a few weeks back from Noah. Naturally I was stunned to say the very least, but he has been coming up with some unusual questions and statements recently and as we all know, no matter how much we shelter our kids, their ears and eyes are wide open, absorbing everything around them.

Back to cocaine, I thought perhaps David was listening to Clapton and Noah, who loves music, heard the word through the song, Cocaine. This has made me a little more conscious with what type of music (or shall I say lyrics) that is being played within earshot of the kids. What inspired this post is my car ride this morning - three songs in a row - Stroke Me, Cocaine, and Big Balls all played. This got me thinking about a list of other songs that have lyrics that I may not be ready to give out explanations for - for example, my last post - Bitch, by Meredith Brooks, or even Alanis Morisette's ... You Oughta Know. (Thankfully, my kids DO NOT read my blog or my facebook wall.)

With the comeback of the 80's - I heard recently Push It by Salt'n Pepper and Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Of course, there are plenty of songs on radio from other genres that I will never allow my kids to listen to (and to my dismay, know plenty of parents who do allow their kids) but I am not talking about those specific genres - I am referring to classic rock and pop. Guess that is why I feel safer with the kids listening to Country, though Noah did make a clever observation and commented that Country music always sings about lost love and their dog getting run over. I totally cracked up at that. See, again, proves that kids are not only listening but are very observant.

A few years ago, My Humps was the rage and I was watching in on Youtube. Talia came into the room and saw it and instantly loved it. Then she told me our neighbor's girls (teenagers) also were listening to the song. She was humming it all the time, to the point, I was really worried that she would be singing it at school. Well, for public school, this may not be so unusual or unacceptable, but Talia attends a Jewish orthodox school and I didn't think the Rabbi would quite appreciate hearing her singing out loud, "My Hump, my hump, my lovely ladie lumps".

Below is a parody of that song from Alanis Morissette. Actually, it's the same lyrics but a spoof on the video. It's quite clever - I love it (but don't let your kids watch it!!!)

Pissed Off But With Dignity

2008-12-10T09:57:00.001-05:00

Talent and Time Equals this ...

2008-11-16T02:12:00.003-05:00

This is really cool and btw, I love the AC/DC t-shirt. Got to find one for David.

Yea - I'm Almost Reaching My Goal

2008-11-10T10:33:00.007-05:00

Today I weighed in at 128. When I started this blog, a few years ago, I was longing to be back to my weight of my previous years (pre-marriage) and was shooting for 120 lbs. I've always been thin and for some reason, about 9 months after I got married, my weight jumped from 115 to almost 140 lbs. I wish I could say it was because I had gotten pregnant, but I can't. I really don't know what happen, other than I was no longer stressed out from the wedding planning and I no longer lived in a City, where before, I was always walking. But that doesn't really fully explain it since, I had been living in the suburbs for 4 years already.

After having my daughter, I was successful in getting my weight down to 128. I only gained 23 lbs with my daughter (and the last three pounds came on almost at the end, when she was past her due date.) When I was pregnant with my son, I began at 127, dropped down to 124 during my first trimester, and then gain about 25 lbs that time. But it was what I did afterwards - I gave in to my sweet tooth (thus the name) and though I was able to lose about half the weight, trying to get under 130 seemed impossible. My weight wanted to hover around 135lbs.

I didn't like it - its' hard to suddenly not be thinner than your friends and family, to not be in better shape than your friends, and worse yet, to be as heavy as some of your friends. I know that sounds shallow and my noshing on cookies, brownies, chocolate, etc., definitely didn't help me. Yes, I am almost 5'7 and can carry off the extra weight, but I just hated the way I looked in my clothes and the sudden appearance of cellulite in the oddest places.

The last two - three years I have seen my weight really go up, to my highest this past February of a 160 lbs. For the past several years, I have had so many people ask me when I was "due", I just started to make up a date to hush them up. I am one of those unfortunate souls who gain weight in my stomach and boobs, and really do carry it off as if I am pregnant. So to be back into clothing that I haven't been able to wear since before I was pregnant with my son is just awesome for me, even if I have just gone down a cup size.

I've cut out wheat and dairy and it's really working, and I have began to do some exercising - walking and biking. In fact, I will be entering into my first 5 mile marathon - Thanksgiving Day. I won't be running in it, but walking a good pace.

Ahh, life seems to be good at 41. I don't think it's my reality to be 120 lbs. I would like to lose a few more lbs and stay at around 125 but if return to 130lbs that I have been these past few months, and to be able to stay between a size 6 and 8, I will be very happy!!!

And then I think I will have to rename my blog ....

A Letter to My More "Conservative" Friends

2008-10-30T11:24:00.004-04:00

I just had one of those 'lightbulb' moments in regards to your opinions and distrust towards liberalism (is that a word?). Over the years from knowing you and being annoyed by your provocations, I've also have grown to understand and allowed myself to be more open to seeing the world through your eyes. Whenever new perspectives are introduced and old ones are revisited, admittedly, it is liberating when those lightbulb moments go off. Not only because it may change my way of thinking, but more importantly it allows me to empathize and to intellectually understand the other side.

What motivated and propelled me to write this post is a story I heard on NPR's Morning Edition, Disruptive Jewish Settlers Anger Israeli Officials. It was so obviously biased and distorted that it really upset me to hear this coming from NPR, a media source I trust and thoroughly enjoy. This story wasn't the only one lately that has grabbed my attention and has left me wanting to write a letter to them.

In an interview on WAMU's (an NPR station) The Splendid Table, with author, Chris Fair and her book "Cuisines of the Axis of Evil and Other Irritating States : A Dinner Party Approach to International Relations", Chris Fair was merrily discussing her book, with funny and interesting anecdotes which I was enjoying. It was entertaining until I began to really listen to her, go on and on about Israel and their new slogan that the Falafel is Israel's national food. She was explaining (in a light-hearted tone) how annoyed and upset (and justifiably so) Palestinians are against Israel and Israelies for robbing them of this culinary national treasure (tongue in cheek here).

I don't think I am being overly sensitive by believing that she clearly had an agenda in the way she one-sidedly described Israel, it's policies, the Palestinians, and how their identity and cultural inheritance is being stolen away from them, with Israel's claim that the falafel is their national food.

But back to this morning's report, as I was listening to it, and getting more and more angry, it hit me why so many conservatives despised NPR. And it actually planted a seed of doubt in my mind to any story that they (NPR) report on, universally.

It's an awful and disappointing feeling, and a point that I hope NPR will seriously take in consideration.

This is Cute

2008-10-25T12:34:00.001-04:00

I Have a Crush on Jon Stewart

2008-10-22T11:33:00.001-04:00

I never took a High School American Civics class

2008-10-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, how many times can a person be a Vice President? Are there any limitations?

Can a former US President run for VP? and if he/she was to become President (again) are there any limitations about running for a second term, if he/she become President in the 1st term?

Interactive Fun - Palin Style

2008-10-20T19:28:00.001-04:00

You need to click on just about everything in the room, but it is worth it. Make sure your speakers are on. Be sure to click on the glass door several times to open and close it. There is something different behind the door each time. Enjoy!

http://www.palinaspresident.us/

a poem

2008-10-12T09:49:00.010-04:00

girlfriends

standing alone with each other in a freezing rain

a frailty and strength shared between them

holding each other up, supporting one another

tumultuous winds beckoning them to fall over and become defeated

they won't allow it

they must find their way back home

back to their families

to the ones who love them unconditionally and are missing them deeply

dedicated to she

My Inner Four Year Old

2008-10-06T09:54:00.007-04:00

Well I gave in and decided to check out Facebook, and even joined. Amazing how many people are signed up on it. It seems to be the rite of passage - even my 80 year old aunt is on it.

I saw this on my cousin's facebook page. It's hilarious. What a difference a hairstyle can make. It's called yearbookyourself.com.

When I was a little girl, there was two things that I really, really wanted. I wanted my name to be Ann and I wanted long straight hair.

Perhaps I will re-invent myself on Facebook. : )

China and the Tainted Milk Crisis

2008-09-29T02:00:00.003-04:00

I was just reading an article about how global and far reaching the tainted milk crisis in China is and how many people around the world are affected by it. The list of companies facing potential recalls are growing as reports of foods tainted with the industrial chemical melamine is spreading.

It's not only babies and formula or those drinking powder milk, that are at risk, it's those that are eating the hundreds, maybe thousands of food products processed with milk or protein in it. *Some of those products that folks may not even be thinking about include biscuits, cake mix, energy bars, anything that should have protein in it. Even the icing that is used on some Oreo cookies is in question (though Kraft has put out a press release that the milk used is from Australia and that all their products are held to the highest quality, no matter where they are manufactured).

How many of those products are reaching the US? Perhaps not many, but what worries me are all those other countries that those products are infiltrating into. We take it for granted that what we are eating, or feeding our pets or even brushing our teeth with is safe.

The question is will this be a wake up call? Will China and all these multinational-corporations finally be held accountable for their inaction and turning a blind's eye to food safety?

*source

I just saw this article - hopefully this will help, at least, in bringing attention to food safety issues and international regulation.

2008-09-27T21:20:00.010-04:00

Some of the Republican honeys are also ready to send Palin packing back to the Last Frontier - according to this article, Kathleen Parker, a conservative columnist, for the National Review wrote "... it's become clear she doesn't know enough about economics or foreign policy to be president should that become necessary in a McCain administration."

"Writing in the National Review Online, Kathleen Parker wrote, that her "cringe reflex is exhausted" after watching the Alaska governor stumble through TV interviews and it's become clear to her that Palin is out of her league."

"No one hates saying that more than I do," Parker writes. "Like so many women, I've been pulling for Palin, wishing her the best, hoping she will perform brilliantly. I've also noticed that I watch her interviews with the held breath of an anxious parent, my finger poised over the mute button in case it gets too painful. Unfortunately, it often does."

"Only Palin can save McCain, her party, and the country she loves," Parker writes. "She can bow out for personal reasons, perhaps because she wants to spend more time with her newborn. No one would criticize a mother who puts her family first."

"Kathryn Jean Lopez, writing for the conservative National Review, says Parker's suggestion is "not a crazy suggestion" and that "something's gotta change."

For anyone who missed the Katie Couric interview ... OMG. Now will all you folks who are rallying around Palin, get your head out of your asses and pay attention to who you are defending.

Watch CBS Videos Online

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?
PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have with-- Canada. It-- it's funny that a comment like that was-- kind of made to-- cari-- I don't know, you know? Reporters--
COURIC: Mock?
PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.
COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.
PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our-- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia--
COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?
PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state.

But hey, if McCain wins and Palin is in office as our VP - there is a silver lining - we actually have something to look forward to because the next four years are going to be a comic's dream. At least, us Americans and the rest of the World will have plenty of material to keep us laughing (and cringing).

and Now to Lightening Things Up

2008-09-26T11:01:00.000-04:00

A Little Botox

2008-09-23T08:00:00.001-04:00

Spam mail is something I luckily don't see very much of, because of the way my email accounts are set up. But every once in a while, some will slipped through the filters and will even occasionally pique my interest enough for me to take a peak, such as this random one

"you'll smile and thank me in a few months, I promise"

I guess what grabbed my attention was the word "Promise". Wow! Someone out there is promising ME that not only will I be smiling in a few months, BUT, I will be thankful to them for it.

The strange part of the email is that there was nothing in it. Nothing written in the body - just a promise in the subject line.

Now what is that all about? How am I supposed to know what it is, I am to be thanking this person for? And not only thanking them, but SMILING too, without more to go on. C'mon I need some more information here.

At first I thought I was going to win something, like a long needed vacation to Hawaii - oh I loved Hawaii. I can definitely see myself smiling over that, and being very thankful.

But the more I starred at those words, something seemed so familiar. A commercial maybe, no, a radio jingle. Yes, that was it. A radio jingle for a dental office that's trying to be hip and smooth.

You know the type with the those *Muzak-like tunes and the really bad Taglines. The voiceover of the "Dentist" promoting state of the art Teeth Bleaching and other breakthrough technology to spare you from pain. And if you hurry up and make an appointment, you can get some Botox or some other type of plastic surgery as a gift to compliment your beautiful new smile.

I would love to get my teeth bleach, but since I have a cap on my front tooth (clumsy bicycle accident), I can't do the bleach thing. However I do need to go to the dentist, an Endodontist to be exact, and I have been asking around for recommendations, hmm, perhaps, I might be on to something.

Yes, maybe that's what it means - this promise. That the PAIN I am suffering through now, will all go away in a few months and oh, I will be so thankful and will once again, be able to smile, smile, smile.

Hey, if I am offered the Botox, do you think I should take it?

A little trivia about my family. Did you know that *Muzak is two degrees of separation from me? My husband's grandfather, a world-renowned Bandleader and music executive, who has long passed away, was instrumental in the development and distribution of Muzak.

Hush Hush, Voices Carry

2008-09-19T11:39:00.004-04:00

Where are all those voices from the right wing, predominately modern Orthodox Jews condemning Palin, an evangelical Protestant, and her religion and church's views on Jewish Conversion, their support for Jews for Jesus and the other Messianic Ministries?

It's awful quiet out there for such a vocal group of constituents who will easily organize and jump on anything that at all seems to be Anti-Semitic, Anti-Israel, or Anti-Orthodox religious (because for the rest of us Jews who are Conservative, Reform, or Reconstructionist - we are really self-hating Jews whose only connection to Judaism is lox and bagels.)

But as you can read here, if the candidate falls within their party line and conservative philosophies, then, gee, everyone is getting all upset over nothing.

"Much attention has been focused on Palin's religious views since McCain made her his surprise pick as running mate, a selection the campaign hoped would shore up his standing among social conservatives. But while many religious Republicans have embraced Palin, some liberal commentators are suggesting that her hard-line position on abortion, her evangelical roots and lack of record on Israel may turn off Jewish voters who otherwise might be open to McCain's more moderate image and hawkish foreign policy stance.

The Anti-Defamation League, which has been deeply critical of Jews for Jesus and was among the organizations calling for Democratic nominee Barack Obama to distance himself from his controversial pastor during the primaries, said it had no problem with Palin's membership in a church that supported efforts to convert Jews.

The ADL’s national director, Abraham Foxman, told JTA that Protestant evangelizing to Jews was entirely different from Catholics praying for Jewish conversion, which the ADL has sharply criticized. “They did not have the Inquisition. They did not go on a Crusade. They did not kill Jews for 2,000 years,”

Foxman said. “They have a belief; they're entitled to their belief.”

Besides, he said, there is no evidence that Palin shares Brickner’s views.“If you could tell me that she approves of this guy, she invited him, I’m not aware of any of that,” Foxman said. “The fact that she belongs to a church that believes in it, I don’t have a problem.”

The ADL has accused Jews for Jesus of “aggressive proselytizing with a deceptive message.”

This is a very dangerous comment, especially for the ADL to be making. Has anyone stopped to think how much creditability has just been lost over this blatantly politically partisan rubbish that shot forth from Foxman's mouth? What type of message does this send?

At least the ADL condemned Anne Coutler during her 2007 interview on Donny Deutsch's CNBC show "The Big Idea".

During her interview, Danny asked her if she could have her way, what would the US look like?

She remarked, "It would look like New York City during the Republican National Convention. In fact, that's what I think heaven is going to look like. Happy, joyful Republicans in the greatest city in the world." She continued to say "Well, OK, take the Republican National Convention. People were happy. They're Christian. They're tolerant. They defend America, they -

DEUTSCH: Christian - so we should be Christian? It would be better if we were all Christian?

COULTER: Yes.

DEUTSCH: We should all be Christian?

COULTER: Yes. Would you like to come to church with me, Donny?

DEUTSCH: So I should not be a Jew, I should be a Christian, and this would be a better place?

COULTER: Well, you could be a practicing Jew, but you're not.

DEUTSCH: I actually am. That's not true. I really am. But – so we would be better if we were - if people – if there were no Jews, no Buddhists –

COULTER: Whenever I'm harangued by –

DEUTSCH: – in this country? You can't believe that.

COULTER: – you know, liberals on diversity –

COULTER: - we think - we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.

DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?

COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express. You have to obey laws. We know we're all sinners -
...
DEUTSCH: Ann Coulter, author of "If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans," and if Ann Coulter had any brains, she would not say Jews need to be perfected. I'm offended by that personally. And we'll have more "Big Idea" when we come back.

DEUTSCH: Welcome back to "The Big Idea." During the break, Ann said she wanted to explain her last comment. So I'm going to give her a chance. So you don't think that was offensive?

COULTER: No. I'm sorry. It is not intended to be. I don't think you should take it that way, but that is what Christians consider themselves: perfected Jews.

We believe the Old Testament. As you know from the Old Testament, God was constantly getting fed up with humans for not being able to, you know, live up to all the laws.

What Christians believe - this is just a statement of what the New Testament is - is that that's why Christ came and died for our sins. Christians believe the Old Testament. You don't believe our testament.

The Anti-Defamation League:

"Ann Coulter may be a political pundit but she clearly knows very little about religious theology and interfaith issues," the ADL said in a statement. "Coulter's remarks are outrageous, offensive and a throwback to the centuries-old teaching of contempt for Jews and Judaism.

The notion that Jews are religiously inferior or imperfect because they do not accept Christian beliefs was the basis for 2,000 years of church-based anti-Semitism. While she is entitled to her beliefs, using mainstream media to espouse the idea that Judaism needs to be replaced with Christianity and that each individual Jew is somehow deficient and needs to be 'perfected,' is rank Christian supersessionism and has been rejected by the Catholic Church and the vast majority of mainstream Christian denominations."

Hey ADL - what is that about the Catholic Church? They don't believe what about Judaism?

Interestingly enough, Dennis Prager, a conservative talk show host, commented that although, as a practicing Jew, he obviously did not agree with Coulter's comments, they were not anti-semitic. He noted that: "There is nothing in what Ann Coulter said to a Jewish interviewer on CNBC that indicates she hates Jews or wishes them ill, or does damage to the Jewish people or the Jewish state. And if none of those criteria is present, how can someone be labeled anti-Semitic?"

Hmm, he may have a point. But what about those Jews for Jesus?

And just four years earlier in 2003, The Jewish World Review published her article, The Party Ideas about Democrats and their ways of trying to get a vote. Somehow, in her rant, she throws in about Democrats and Jews.

"In addition to having a number of family deaths among them, the Democrats' other big idea — too nuanced for a bumper sticker — is that many of them have Jewish ancestry. There's Joe Lieberman: Always Jewish. Wesley Clark: Found Out His Father Was Jewish in College. John Kerry: Jewish Since He Began Presidential Fund-Raising. Howard Dean: Married to a Jew. Al Sharpton: Circumcised. Even Hillary Clinton claimed to have unearthed some evidence that she was a Jew — along with the long lost evidence that she was a Yankees fan. And that, boys and girls, is how the Jews survived thousands of years of persecution: by being susceptible to pandering. "

Quite frankly, I don't understand the connection and why it was even brought up, other than her just rambling on. How is anything she is saying here related to the Jews, well, let me rephrase that ... Democratic Jews, i.e., LIBERAL Jews? I can definitely see why Jews (Democratic Jews) would be offended and call her anti-Semite.

However, not everyone agrees. In this article by Ben Shapiro , an orthodox Jew, he's defending her. Here is another example of defending an anti-semantic rant by turning it around and finding that what she says does indeed have merit. Why is this writer defending her and allowing this wolf to step inside sheep's clothing? Yes, one may be able to extract some opinionated truth from what anyone says, but does that change the persons core beliefs and character? No. Shapiro is a conservative and is choosing to ignore Coulter's anti-Semitic rant, simply because he dislikes liberals.

I actually don't disagree with some of his message but to go so far to limit it to just Democratic Jews is ignorant and arrogant. Can he, or any other person who holds his beliefs, truly claim that Republican and Right-Wing Jews, don't do the same thing, so do a lot of other ethnic groups, regardless of their party, regardless of their piety or cultural bonds? And if we are talking about voting base on ethnicity or religion, what about voting for Catholics, or Mormons or wait a minute, an Evangelical? Do they not do the same thing? Why stop at just the Jews?

Fast forward to recent events. Obviously, McCain and the Republican camp hold the opinion that women also do the same thing, thus McCain's gender choice for VP.

But boy are they underestimating women! Unlike ethnic groups, most women aren't going to vote base on the gender of the candidate. We are not stupid and most of us, don't vote for such a simple reason. We may vote for purely shallow qualifications such as how popular they are, but so do men. They may vote because of one or two issues that push their buttons or motivate them, but so do men. They are not voting for McCain because he choose a woman for his running mate. They are not choosing McCain because they think McCain supports women in higher office. For if he did, he would have chosen a female candidate that is an intelligent, well-established, well-respected, and rich in experience and policies such as Condoleezza Rice, Kay Bailey Hutchison and many more other qualified female Republicans.

But he didn't. And how sad it is that despite McCain's running mate's lack of experience, lack of political knowledge, the fact that she governs in an unprofessional, biased and corrupt manner (resembling more of a high school student government based on popularity and loyalty than an actual grown-up State government), and who allows her church and religious beliefs to dominate despite our founding fathers separation of Church and State - despite all of the is, Right-wing religious and non-religious Jews, will defend and support her 100%.

Just for the record, I am not anti-Israel, or anti-orthodox or religious, and definitely not a self-hating Jew. I am upset, well more like disgusted that so many will not step up and speak against a person who obviously is not qualified to serve as a VP, nevermind, the President AND is dangerous to Jews, Jewish Continuity, and Jewish Laws (her abortion stance - pro-life 100% without exceptions.) They are keeping their voices purposely quiet and to me, foregoing their strong Jewish convictions and common sense, for spite and for political allegience. Forget about Obama. Don't vote for him. But don't vote for the McCain Palin ticket because they are Republicans or Conservative. Choose one of the other candidates, if voting in the election is a must.

Our Country's Financial Crisis

2008-09-17T23:25:00.002-04:00

Admittedly, I don't really know much about economics, Wall Street and other finanicial theories, trends, analysis, etc. But I am smart enough to realize that what's going on in our country right now, and the value of our dollar is of serious concern, not only within the United States, but it's ripple affect around the world.

Prior to the rise in gas prices these past few years, I really never thought about the connections. The price of our food, the price of services, the price of clothing, shelter, activities for our kids - anything and everything that is directly and indirectly related to transportation and the price of fuel. This may sound naive and spoiled to those who live outside of the US in which this may a normal part of their economics and standards of living, but it's really kicking us in the butt. The housing and mortgage crisis is making me nervous, even though our payments are relatively low and there really isn't any reason for us to move into a new home. I am thankful now that we didn't bite off more than we could chew and like so many others, bought a home that realistically is way out of reach (even if a half a million dollars for a house is average).

I am really worried that the average American doesn't get it and aren't worried enough to speak up and voice their concerns, anger, and desire for change that will benefit our economics, our health, our labor and consumer rights and the environment. That we will continue to wait and do nothing until it gets so bad that common sense loses ground and rash decision making and approving plans and decisions that have short-term solutions, takes its place. That corporations continue to benefit from corporate welfare and the people are left to suffer from their greed and poor managment.

However, I do think there are exceptions, especially in the case when the lack of financial intervention from the government, will harm thousands of people by losing their jobs, their pensions, and much more. There should be consequences to those whose greed created this mess and regulations put into place to monitor and to protect the labor force and our economics as a whole. Unfortunately, our government in the past, has done little to punish those that are responsible but hopefully that will change as our financial crisis continues to spiral downward.

What brought me to write about this - well it was a headline, The Feds Play Sugar Daddy that I just read on MSN.com and last night's episode of Charlie Rose, with his guest Hank Greenberg, former chairman and CEO of American International Group (AIG), the world's largest insurance and financial services corporation. It really put what's going on right now into perspective, at least for me.

An Interview with Sarah Palin - A Spoof

2008-09-17T11:39:00.001-04:00

Ah ... this and the SNL skit ... just brilliant.

I loved living in Alaska. I attended high school in Anchorage and that time in my life was by far, the most amazing experience of my adolescent years. Literally, the very last minute before my father left to make aliyah to Israel and less than a month before starting my junior year, I changed my mind and decided to join him on his new adventure. I have mix feelings about that choice but in the end I know I made the right decision, at least, with regards to my relationship with my father. I always thought I would return to Alaska, but I never did.

I'm glad that Alaska is in the national spotlight because maybe Americans will stop and think about what a beautiful treasure we have there, one not to be exploited and threatened, despite if many of it's non-native residents (and native) feel different.

Alaska is a very special place and I hope that both the environment including wildlife, habitat, natural resources, etc., and the many indigenous tribes that still thrive there, are allowed to continue to be preserved and protected.

Eyes Wide Shut

2008-09-09T11:39:00.000-04:00

This clip is from Jon Stewart's The Daily Show and is so right on when it comes to the Republican hyprocrisy, especially in their pityful attempt to support and defend, John McCain's choice for VP - Sarah Palin. How can they actually be spewing this crap and really believe it? But then again, after reading so many comments on various blogs in support of her nomination, I shouldn't be all that suprise - but somehow I still am.

This is really funny!!!

What a sell out you are Senator McCain. I'm so disappointed in you.

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=184086

Consequences

2008-09-04T23:07:00.003-04:00

As parents, we are always being told that the best way to discipline a child is through consequences and staying consistent, and for positive behavior, give praise and rewards. But face it, behavioral management is tough and challenging no matter how many books we read or how many specialist or experts we follow or listen to, or when in our sane moments how we can rationalize, analyze and/or intellectualize why they do what they do (neurological, didn't get their meds, they are immature, tired, hungry, ___)

They also say - stand behind your threat. Do not threaten your child with a consequence that is unreasonable, unrealistic, or something that you don't plan on following through. We are suppose to think clearly and realistically, always be a few steps ahead of the game. For example, if you and your child is in the store for an hour and all they have are their crayons and paper, don't threatened that if they misbehave you will take away their crayons and paper - why - because now you are stuck with a child with absolutely nothing to do for the rest of that hour and that will perpetuate the boredom and add to more bad behavior. And who loses here - the parent.

We're supposed to not punish them with something that will allow them to continue getting rewards such as "go to your room". What happens if we send them to their room - are they really being punished? No. We are supposed to give out consequences that we know will really have an impact on them - something that they really cherish and will miss. For my daughter, I am the prize. I am the reward and the consequence. Nothing else works! NOTHING ELSE WORKS!!!

I am at my wits end because she will continue with the behavior until I get really, really angry. I can calmly but firmly tell her that if her behavior continues she will lose a privilege or a favorite poster, etc. and that does not stop her. I can try to reason with her by pointing out the value of what she is losing compared to her desire to be in control or in the right is not worth it; that she would rather lose something so precious than to actually stop and follow my directions and yet she will acknowledge it and this does not stop her. She will keep at it, pushing the envelop, nagging, having a tantrum, ignoring my requests despite the consequences.

When I do step in and follow through, she gets really upset, begs for me not to do whatever it is that I said I would do, that she will never do it again or she will stop the behavior, anything for me to not follow through. But I do and because she is mad now, she will continue with a new tantrum with slamming doors or doing whatever she thinks will get my attention. So now I go back to her and give her another consequence - and again, the cycle continues but gets worse because now the oppositional behavior is escalating and when I try once more with another consequence its almost a joke to her. Nothing matters - its all about the control.

I am trying very hard to not allow myself to get out of control with my temper when it get to this point but as I mentioned previously, it's the only thing that really works withher. It truly takes me to lose my control for her to finally wake up and stop. So, I need advice as to what really works - what consequences should I use to have it work, because the whole praise, positive reinforcements and consequence are not?

Now mind you, it's different when she is on her medicine. Almost all these negative behaviors she exibits are only there when her hyperactivity is set loose (not to say they are always in the open, they aren't but when they do come out, she's truly unable to manage it or noticed the difference in her personality.)

It makes sense to ask why don't I just continously keep her medicated? It's because I feel bad AND she must learn to manage her behavior, to recognize the differences in her personality and body language, and to take responsibility for her actions. I feel cruel and it's extremely frustrating for me (and I guess for her as well) to purposely let her spiral into this other person. But what are my options? How is she supposed to truly learn and begin to internalize the approprate behaviors when in a hyper state if she is on her meds? Truly, after she takes her medicine, this whole different person comes out - a person who seems to have already internalize these values and recognizes some actions and changes in her behavior/emotions (though not quite everything - still have problems with the owning up to her actions).

What consequences can I give her that REALLY mean anything to her? She's definitely the type to wait until the very last second of a count (1, 2, .....3) before she stops. Again, testing the limits, pushing the envelope, I have memories of her doing this as early as 18 months (oh those terrible 2's and 3's were a nightmare).

So advice? I need some!!!

Is it Really a Cover-Up?

2008-08-28T10:39:00.004-04:00

Recently I read an article that Senator John Edwards would not be attending the Democratic National Convention, and is in fact, pretty much keeping a low profile since the revelation of his affair. In this article, it said that there are some Democrats who actually condemn Elizabeth for taking a role in her husband's "cover-up" for his political (and her prestigious) gains.

Cover-up? Please - what cover-up? This is/was a private matter between Edwards, his wife and family - not his supporters, not the press, and especially not the democratic party machine.

I can fully understand the disappointment, the betrayal, and even the anger towards a man who potentially could have been our President and because of this revelation, could have cost great damage to the party and the country with a scandal. And yes, when you are a public figure, especially running for such a high political office, you have to remember that any and all your actions affect everyone, not just yourself and your family.

However, I would not go so far to label his (or Elizabeth's) choice to not disclose the affair, as a cover-up. It's a very, very private matter.

I forget, but how did this affair come become public? Was it because of some allegations about her baby being his child? Who leak this to the press?

In any event, I think it's wrong to start pointing fingers at them, and especially to his wife. People may not understand or even accept why a husband or wife decides stay with a spouse who has had an affair, but that is no reason to start blaming the wife and throwing false allegations around out of anger or lack of respect or disgust. Just my humble opinion.

Proud to be a BobbleHead

2008-08-27T11:39:00.003-04:00

Yes, you know who you are, calling all of us who simply adore Bill Clinton and cannot get enough of hearing him speak, bobbleheads. Speaking at my Party's national convention in Denver, Bill Clinton speech was powerful and passionate and exactly what the country needed to hear. He's so charismatic, intelligent, motivating, and just fucking amazing.

Hell, if I was there, I would be showing him my thong underwear.

Yes, sweetie, I'm a bobblehead when it comes to listening to Bill Clinton speak. I didn't let you down. I was nodding in full agreement when he said "...Barack Obama knows that America can not be strong abroad unless we are first strong at home" and "People the world over have always been more impress by the power of our example, then by the example of our power" Heck, I was nodding to the very end of his speech and if I wasn't in my car driving, I would have stood and applauded, along with the millions of other proud Americans who love their beloved Clinton and fully stand behind Barack Obama with full appreciation and respect.

Wow ... I just love him.

Check out Jimmy Kimmel Live - his spoof on BC's speech, the convention and Obama's choice for VP is so funny.

You Got to be Kidding, Right?

2008-08-20T09:54:00.003-04:00

Why am I getting spam mail from AARP's membership department? Hey you in the membership and marketing departments, I've got about ten years before I'm even qualified. Thanks for the offer (and yes, that's quite a spiffy travel kit and so hard to pass up) but I am more than happy to allow myself to enjoy my 40's. So please, no more offers and invitations.

Medicare in a Nutshell - A Funny

2008-08-18T08:34:00.003-04:00

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,

'Hello.' 'Mrs. Ward, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Ward asks nervously...

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's.'

'That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Ward.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time. The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

bada boom : )

2008-08-10T16:32:00.005-04:00

Today, as I was listening to the radio, a song came on that I never heard before. I know it's been around for a while and I am sorry that I am just now hearing it for the first time. It's such a powerful song, whose lyrics seem to really hit almost every thought and emotion I had upon learning what was happening on September 11, 2001.

I really don't like the song by Lee Greenword, God Bless the USA. It seemed like it only became so popular and the poster child for 9/11 because nothing else was close to it. But what I heard today, by Alan Jackson, should be adopted as our country's tribute to 9/11. It's really a very beautiful and powerful song.

Here is it - both the video and the lyrics

Where Were You by Alan Jackson

Where were you when the world stopped turning
that September day,
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Or workin on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock
At the sight of that black smoke risin' against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger and fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
Pray for the ones who dont know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below
Did you burst out in pride for the red white and blue
And the heros who died just doin what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters

*Chorus*

Im just a singer of simple songs
Im not a real political man
I watch CNN but im not sure i can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
I know Jesus and i talk to god
And i remember this from when i was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning
that September day
Teachin' a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset for the first time in ages
Speak to some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out an buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on 'I Love Lucy' re-runs
Did you go to church and hold hands with some stangers
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank god you had somebody to love

*Chorus*
*Chorus*

And the greatest is love

And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stoped turning,
that September day

Jaime and David, You're Team #1

2008-08-07T22:34:00.011-04:00

So Talia threw out an interesting question over dinner tonight. She asked David, if he could be on any TV show, which would it be. When asked if it had to be limited to a certain genre, she said no - it's open to any show.

Now what came out of David's mouth, I have to admit really surprised me. I would have guessed The Muppet Show, Jeopardy, maybe '24', or even Meet the Press. Nope, not my honey - he went straight for what every man gropes after - that's right - BAYWATCH!

Natalie looked a little confused and asked what was Baywatch. I basically told her it was a show about lifeguards saving people on the beach. Ok, so I left out a few details.

Now my turn.

Hmm, all I could think of were games shows. I love game shows, especially the classic 70's ones like Matchgame, Password, Pyramid or Name That Tune - perhaps that's because I grew up in the 1970's. Unfortunately I don't do well under pressure. Just try to be on my team when we need to come up with the answer quickly. I always freeze or blank out. So that's why I originally said "Family Feud". Hey, it's really an easy win and the pressure is spread out. But then I started to think about all those other games and reality tv shows that can be so much fun to do. Survivor - uh no. Big Brother or the Bachelor - definitely NOT!!! But ... the Amazing Race - Absolutely!!! I would love to be on the Amazing Race. So would David.

David and I have spoken about applying to the show before, but decided, that if we want to continue to stay married, it's probably not the best show to be on. I can be, well, quite bossy and short on the fuse if things aren't going my way or if I get too frustrated. David, can be too laidback and the kind of wait and see type of person.

So, although it would be awesome to be on the Amazing Race - 15 years of being together has taught us, that if we actually ever was to be on the show, we would end up killing each other or signing divorce papers before the show aired.

Scare Tactics

2008-07-24T07:11:00.004-04:00

Call me naive - but wouldn't all the money that the oil companies pour into lobbyists, campaigns, advertising, lawsuits, and the works would be better spent if they only poured that money into environmentally safe solutions that are proactive and preventative?

Woudn't it make sense to look at what the issues are that have continuously been blocking them by all the advocacy groups and to actually invest in the technology that can minimize to the lowest degree the destruction to nature and mankind? There are very simple solutions and quite complex ones - but the oil industry is one of the wealthiest in the world and it makes no sense to me why they are still fighting and refusing to do what is the right thing to do, especially if means even more money for them.

Can someone please explain this to me?

*hat tip to McCain's campaign ad that made me want to puke.

The Birds & The Bees, The Facts of Life, Oh Boy...

2008-03-29T10:19:00.011-04:00

I think I was a little more prepared when my daughter started to asked me questions about how babies were born and why bodies parts looked a certain way but I haven't quite been too successful with my son. It might be that, well quite frankly, my daughter (and I feel awful for saying this) is brighter. She's a very smart girl, very perceptive and inquisitive. Not that my son isn't smart, he is, but in a different way. He's the one with all the imagination, the builder, and his curiosity is different.

Up until recently, he never really verbally has asked too much about body parts or where babies are born - the basic birds and bees. He, has of course, been fixated on his penis - first as a toddler in the bathtub and as a pre-schooler, sorted as a toy - running around the house naked being silly. He has also asked questions about my breast but mostly about nursing and what are they used for ... type of questions.

So the other night (and coicidently, the same time Natalie and I were having a discussion about Virgins and the "S" word - no we didn't actually go into any explanations, it was more like a facts gathering mission for me) when Noah came bouncing downstairs completely naked and ran up to me to asked a question about his discoveries, I pointed to dad and said that perhaps, he would be a better source to explain since I don't have one of those.

Come to find out, what he discovered were tiny little ball sacs. David described to him what was what and implored him to NOT squeeze them, like Noah wanted to. Oh yea, you can definitely imagine the holding back of laughter between my husband and I.

Fast forward to yesterday (my husband is away at a conference) - Noah is hanging out with me, getting ready for bed and he starts talking about his testicles, well as he put it, his little balls. "Look mom, these are my balls, what's inside them?"

So without thinking that he would want to KNOW MORE, I said "when you gets older, they will have sperm, these little tiny, wiggly guys and they will help make babies."

"Oh you mean eggs?"

"Nope, sperm, only girls have eggs."

"What are sperm for?"

"They help make babies with the eggs,when mommy and daddy want to have a baby, they love each other."

"You mean when you kiss daddy?"

"Uh, well, not exactly."

"Then how?"

"Uh, you know, it's not the right time to talk about this?

"Why, because it's inappropriate it?"

I was going to say yes but then thought twice about it. I didn't want him to associate his questions with being inappropriate. So as I was hestitating, I suddenly said ... "because it's late and you are supposed to be getting ready for bed, so hurry and finished when you need to do to get ready."

Whew!!!

I know - it's inevitable. It's a little easier with my daughter - maybe because I know the physiology better or just the type of person that she is makes it easier to have those types of conversations. Although my husband and I haven't talked about this yet, I think the duty of passing on the facts of life will be dutifully split up - father and son, mother and daughter.

Btw, at what age do parents begin to be a little more modest around their children of the opposite sex? I'm guessing around 9 years old?

Well, I couldn't have a conversation about the Facts of Life, without including the opening theme song from the beloved 80's tv show.

So without further adu - You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ....

What a Small World

2008-03-27T23:37:00.002-04:00

This is very wild - recently my daughter started to check in on her blog that she created a year or so ago - Science Wonders for Kids. She discovered a comment on it and she forwarded it on to me. I went to this person blog to make sure it wasn't anything creepy and discovered it's a lovely woman who lives in Israel. I wrote to her to thank her for her comment and to ask how she came across Talia's blog. I also mentioned that the town that she lives in, is where my husband's family lives and that we will be visiting there in the summer.

Fast forward to recently. I was checking out stat-counter and was clicking on various people's links who had visited my site. One of those links belonged to SuperRaizy. I am not sure how she ended up surfing to my site, but I'm thankful she did, because now I've discovered another great blog to read.

So tonight, I had some free time and decided to see if anything new was posted up on her blog. One of her newer posts mentioned another woman's blog, which I think I remember from a few years ago, A Mother in Israel. My curiousity got to me, and I clicked over to this other blog. Suddenly a name popped out at me - Trilcat. I knew that name - wait - that is the visitor to Talia's blog. That was really cool - I mean it seemed so random how she even came across Talia's blog. So, I jumped over to her blog and for some reason, which I don't often do, I started to scroll down her blogroll. One of the names on her list really piqued my interest and so I then jumped over to check it out.

Wouldn't you know it, its our cousin's blog, the one who we will be staying with during Shabbat when we arrive. The same family member who I mentioned earlier to Trilcat. How amazing is that? I am not going to mention the name of it because I am not sure if he/she has shared their blog with the family but how cool is that - isn't that just wild? (and no, that isn't how Trilcat got to Science Wonders - I don't even know if our cousin knows about Talia's blog.)

I know it shouldn't surprise me. Heck, I've hooked up with many Jewish blogs over the years and have discovered, that through one person or another, there is some degree of separation to me and it was all from random coincidences. And what's even more interesting is that as I plan our trip to Israel and have had my feelers out for various types of feedback for our travels, the circle just seems to get smaller and smaller.

Indeed, it's a small world.

The Dying Housing Market

2008-03-17T18:52:00.005-04:00

Face it, buying a home up until a few years ago was getting to be near impossible. You had to not only try to outbid other potential buyers by ridiculous amounts of money but what - a house inspection - forget it, next; leaking pipes, old appliances, none of that seemed to matter. Now the trend has reverse and homeowners are not only finding it more and more difficult to sell their home, but they can be well assured that they will not get anywhere near what they could have gotten just a year ago.

My neighborhood is going through this transition. As our aging population of residents have passed away or have moved on to retirement communities, suddenly all these homes are on the market.

My husband was half joking about us buying one of them as a rental property and with each one, I could give him a reason why I wouldn't want to do that. However, I think there is one that I really have a great reason why I wouldn't. DEATH.

Actually, now that I think about it, there are a few homes where I believe the aging person passed away in their home. Though it creeps me out now, I am not sure that it probably wouldn't prevent me from buying a house.

There is also another home on the market in our neighborhood, where the man who lived there (the drunk) got drunk and tried to drive over his buddy because of a fight. His "buddy" survived, but the drunk ran off and went into hiding, and then committed suicide. His girlfriend, who owned the house, is also a complete nut job and thankfully that home is up for sale. I don't think I would want to buy that house either. Well, maybe, perhaps only if I was to flip it.

No, the house I am thinking about is a neighbor around the block. They were an aging couple and most of us did not know the domestic violence that had plague the wife of the home. She wasn't the quiet type. Original resident, active on the board, not afraid to speak up, and from Germany - very much direct and by the book. Well, last summer her husband committed suicide. Police arrived, guns drawn, much craziness happening. Noone knew exactly what happened but eventually through our small community, the story was told - he had threatened her with a knife, they fought, and then he went downstairs and shot himself. Of course, there was plenty of "could she have done it" talk.

I think many of us were surprised that she continued to stay in the house. I have no idea how often the crime unit had visited or who even cleaned up the mess, but we did wonder if she could still continue living there after that, but she did. They were in their 80's and that might have been the reason, but rumored had it she was relieved when he died. Well no sooner did he died, her already fragile health, deteriorated quickly, and she passed away in December.

So now that home - perfectly manicured, well taken care of, everything by the book (HOA), is just standing there vacant. Their son hasn't decided what to do - whether to rent it out or sell it. I wonder, does an agent have to reveal that a death such as suicide took place in the home? I've been to many open houses and yet, that thought has never entered my mind.

I can say for sure though, if the house does go on the market, I will not go to it's open house. I don't think I can bring myself to go inside, especially in the basement, where it took place.

Wisteria lane, move over.

Awareness

2008-03-05T08:10:00.012-05:00

When David's father died recently, I noticed within myself a pattern of mourning. I also began to take notice and observe how other's mourn - the rituals, the way they coped with the immediate feelings of loss, the rushing in of memories that they have from some previous experience with death, and the moving on.

For me personally, I didn't feel an immediate sense of sadness. Perhaps it was because I wasn't as close to Rick or since we only saw him a handful of times during the year, the lack of his presence didn't seem unusual. Of course I was empathetic to David and his family, but it wasn't until David brought home his father's guitar and I had a visual reminder of him, a connection, did it hit me. I also think that for me, emotions at this level are very personal and private and it's hard for me to allow them to surface, at least immediately. Over the years, I have learned about myself that I really need time to sit with my feelings and process them. It may take up to six months or more for me to really be hit with certain emotions - the deep and penetrating type of emotions - not just empathy or sympathy, but even excitement. However, I know that this is selective.

People do go through a period of shock and it varies when one steps out of it. I think that when that moment comes, all those raw feelings surface and finding a way to cope with them is the challenge. The time immediately following a death is like a whirlwind. There is so much to absorb, so much to do, decisions to be made and yet, when it's over, and everyone goes home and back to their lives, that is when I think it really hits you. But at the same time, especially when children are involved, I think we suppress those emotions and continue life as if nothing has happen.

A few years ago, someone recommended a book for me ... Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman. One particular story really stood out - it was about silence. She describes that in her house, noone ever spoke about their mother dying and how it made them feel or what was next. They just continued on with their lives, as before. I can relate to that personally, with each of my own parents' death.

This is the second death in a year for David. He lost his stepfather, with whom he was very close to in January, 2007, and almost one year later, his father. Sitting on the couch, David was crying, he told me that his tears (at least consciously) were not for Rick, but for his step-father, Nick. He felt that was the first time in a year he has allowed himself to really let it out and I sense almost an embarrassment from him to be seen as weak. David isn't the macho type of man and if this was coming from him, I can just imagine how it is for many men (and women). These tears, this sobbing, also brought to the surface how we hide this away from our children. And as adults we can still remember from our own childhood the first time we saw our parent or grandparent, especially a man, really cry.

For David, it was when he witness his own father crying at his Grandfather's funeral. He had never seen his father cry before and that, good or bad, really had a lasting impression on him. It's burnt in his memory. And listening to him tell me that, reminded me of not only of my own childhood experience, but of a conversation I had with a friend, whose brother had recently died.

When I asked how his children handled the funeral, he shared with me this - that it occurred to him that this was the first time that his children had ever, really seen him cry, not just weep, but truly a heartbroken cry. And it didn't go unnoticed by him that they were seeing him, also probably for the first time, so vulnerable. It touched him and he was concerned about his children's' reaction and welfare, especially for one of his daughters', whose spirit is so full of compassion and sensitivity. He was particularly worried by how she would be affected by witnessing this.

I don't have any recollection of him telling me this or not, but I wonder if burnt in his memory, is the first time he witness his own father or another adult with whom he would have been close to, exposed. It seems that we all have those recollections.

For me, it was when my mother died. I was 6 years old and I remember standing next to my Grandfather at my house. He started to cry and I didn't know what to do. All I could do was comfort him, as a six year can, with hugs and reassuring words. I sorta understood why he was crying, but it hadn't really sunk in to me or I wasn't quite aware of what Death really meant. Looking back, it should have been me doing all the crying, but I don't really remember doing that - not until long afterwards (time according to a child). But returning to memories, that is what is burnt in my mind. My father cried, but for some reason, it didn't worry me like it did my Grandfather, or truly stick out in my mind. As I am writing this, however, I think I remember comforting my father too, when he was trying to make phone calls to inform everyone about my mother's passing. But that first time awareness of a grown-up's vulnerability was really at that moment with my grandfather.

Which brings me to Natalie and the service. What a beautiful soul my daughter has. At Rick's service, my husband's mother and family came to support David and his sister, as well as to pay their respects. They wanted Natalie to sit in the back with them, but Natalie spoke up and said that she needed to sit with Grandma. That Grandma was sad and needed to be comforted, and that's what she was going to do. And she did. She held her hand throughout the service and put her arm around her to help soothe her. And Florence, Rick's wife, soaked it up, allowed Natalie to comfort her and was so very grateful for it.

This brings me to one more observation I noticed - the widow. Florence did the same thing that David's mom did, within days after their husbands' funerals - they began to empty out the closet - removing all the clothing, possessions, etc and giving them away. When it happened after Nick died last year, and then learning that Florence was doing the exact same thing, I wished that someone, who really had influence, would step in and tell them to pack it away if you must, but don't give it up. You will regret it. When the dust settles, and all your support, your friends and family leave and continue on with their lives, you will be left all alone with just your memories. Those material possessions, the clothing, etc, have a purpose when you need something physical to hold on to; when you need a physical connection to those memories.

To those I have written about, may tell me that I am perceiving it wrong or misunderstanding the process, but these are just a few of my own observations.

You Know Mom, an Asteroid

2008-02-25T00:27:00.007-05:00

Ok, so the only reason why I am silly enough to put up this not so complimentary picture of me, is for that little bitty red dot on the side of my cheek. The one that, even under some light concealer, my daughter was able to so poetically and visually described to me what she thought it looked like.

Yes, that spot on my face, in the eyes of my daughter is a crater, you know the kind that is formed on the moon or a planet from an Asteroid impact. She even took her fork and created a model of a crater in her mashed potatoes.

I love this kid. Man, when she isn't showing her true colors of compassion and thoughtfulness, she can really tell you how it is. Though, she did preface this conversation, with some worry in her voice.

What more can I say ... at least, unlike her brother, she isn't pointing her finger at people and saying really loudly how fat they are or that they smell.

Actually, what I can say, is that I am grateful that she feels comfortable to share with me her concerns and opinions, and is quite creative at the same time.

That's my baby. : )

In a Sentimental Mood

2008-02-01T22:27:00.002-05:00

I love these old standards. I melt everytime I listen to them.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

(Ahh, I LOVE THIS MOVIE, and of course the song)

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found
The somebody who
Could make me be true,
And could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad
Thinking of you

Some others I've seen,
Might never be mean
Might never be cross,
Or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill
With all your faults,
I Love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you
It had to be you

How glad the many millions
Of toms and dicks and Williams
Would be to capture me
But you had such persistence
You wore down my resistance
I fell and it was swell

You're my big and brave and handsome Romeo
How I won you I will never, never know
It's not that you're attractive
But, oh my heart grew active
When you came into view

I've got a crush on you, sweetie-pie
All the day and nighttime, hear me sigh
I never had the least notion
That I could fall with so much emotion
Could you coo
Could you care
For a cunning cottage
We could share
The world will pardon my mush
Cuz I've got a crush, my baby on you

Could you coo
Could you care
For a cunning cottage
We could share
The world will pardon my mush
Cuz I have got a crush, my baby on you

It’s very clear our love is here to stay.
Not for a year, but ever and a day.
The radio and the telephone.
And the movies that we know.
May just be passing fancies and in time may go.

But, oh my dear, our love is here to stay.
Together were going a long, long way.
In time the rockies may crumble,
Gibraltar may tumble, they’re only made of clay.
But our love is here to stay.

(Go Ella - now that is some Blues)

Labor Day Wknd 1988

2007-09-03T00:01:00.003-04:00

Do you remember what you were doing that weekend? I do.

I was determined to have one last fling with someone I knew I would never be with again. Someone I loved very much. It was over between us. It had been since the beginning of that summer.

But a trip to Israel over the summer and then a few weeks hanging out in NY before school began in Boston, and all those feelings of regret and secretly hoping that I could change his mind, led me to disregard my friends' advice. I soon found myself making an excuse to go over and visit with him. Deep inside I knew that by being there, it wouldn't change anything, that he still wanted the relationship to end, but I missed him so much, I just wanted to sleep in his arms again, to be able to make love to him one more time. And I got what what I wished for - man, men are easy. It truly doesn't take much for them to give in, especially when you are a cute and sexy 21 year old.

But karma has a way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it. It doesn't like to be screwed with or else you'll get screwed.

A month and half later, I had to make a choice. And thank god, I was able to make that choice legally and safely.

Every now and then I will think about 'what if', but never with any sadness or regret. I've never had any regrets for my decision.

It just was the wrong time with the wrong man.

More Pics (courtesy of my nephew)

2007-08-19T11:36:00.001-04:00

Santa Cruz Beach

Raspberry Time for Noah

The White Knuckle Ride

Nat and Noah having fun in Santa Cruz

David and his dessert

The $1.10 challenge of Angel Island Whee Success
SF cityscape from Angel Island Ferry

Up, Up, Up that hill (it doesn't look steep here, but it was)

My Angel Island reward

My cousin Jeff and his partner Joe on the roaring camp beach train

My nephew Joey on Angel Island

Benson and Nat at the Egyptian museum in San Jose

We Left Our Hearts in San Francisco

2007-08-18T00:56:00.000-04:00

I just returned from a fabulous vacation in San Francisco. The four of us headed out west and had an awesome time. We were unabashedly touristy - not caring one bit that we looked so dorky in our layers of clothing, snapping pictures of all the exquisite flowers, hidden staircases, signs on the streets, cable cars, the fog and of course the thousands of beautiful views from every hill in SF. Since this was the children's first time there, I had of course make them hike up every hill, hop on the cable cars, ride the Muni bus/underground system, and take in a movie at the Castro Theatre (which was celebrating it's 85 bday.)

We toured Anchor Brewing Company and joined a walking tour of Chinatown and visited a fortune cookie factory. We walked the Golden Gate bridge and droved up and down Divisadero and the other very steep hills in Pacific Heights, and of course drove and walked down the Lombard's crooked street. We saw and HEARD the wild parrots of Telegraph hill and we visited my old apartment house, with it's chinese courtyard, on Taylor and Jackson.

We were very lucky because the weather for most of the week was warm and blue skies. One of the highlights of the trip was a ferry ride to Angel Island. The weather was perfect. We all rented bikes (my nephew and his partner, Nat and I, and David with a trailer for Noah) and took a breathtaking ride (and I do mean that literally in some places) up switchbacks and around the whole island. We had the most beautiful views to enjoy from atop of the hill. I still can't believe we rode bikes up and around the island. When I learned that we could rent bikes and that it was around the perimenter, I thought it meant a flat road circling the island's base. But no, not even close. It meant starting from the bottom and riding up, up and up, then down, down, down, then up, up and up. We were all so impressed by Natalie. She had a blast and was determine to bike up some of the steepest parts without getting off her bike to walk it up, like the rest of us.

We also spent the previous wknd in San Jose and took a day trip to Santa Cruz. We took a beach train to Roaring Camp where we were able to enjoy their neighboring Redwood forest. Some of the redwoods that we saw had to be over 1000 years old. They were the size of our dining room. We thought the kids would be more impressed but surprisingly they weren't. What they really enjoyed was the boardwalk in Santa Cruz and the carnival rides. We took an overhead tram from one side of the boardwalk to the other. David and I were white as ghosts and neither one of us could look straight ahead. There goes any plans for bungi jumping. Just thinking about it now and my hands and feet are getting sweaty.

To end our trip we spent several days outside of Sacramento. We toured Marin for a bit, visited the Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield, enjoyed some wine tasting in Napa Valley, and again, were blown away by the most magnificent scenery of the Gold country. We took a scenic drive from Sacramento to Sutter's Creek, where we took a tour of a gold mine. We thought we would be able to pan for gold in the river, but this was an actual working hard rock gold mine. We went down about 500 + feet underground. This mine is different from others because we could drive into it. From there we took stairs to different narrow tunnels. Though nothing remotely similar to the coal mines, it does give you some perspective on what it must be like for any miner, especially with the recents deaths in Utah.

I loved living in San Fransico and I am so thrilled that I could share it's beauty and personality with my family. Below(oops above) are a few pictures from the trip. I will post more later. Oh and here are few funny quotes from Noah.

"My legs are bored. They don't want to walk anymore."

"Where's the dumb waitress?" (commenting on seeing a real 'dumb waiter')

P.S. - Jack and Cruisin Mom - what's a trip to California without stopping in for an In-N-Out Burger. We saw one in Marin and made a special stop to sample these famous burgers. Well, let's just say, I will stick with the golden rule on this one. Though, I did like their t-shirts and bought one for myself. It makes a great nightshirt. : )

NEW BUMPER STICKERS FOR 2007

2007-06-20T22:40:00.000-04:00

Bush: End of an Error
That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway
If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President
Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant
Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore
America: One Nation, Under Surveillance
They Call Him 'W' So He Can Spell It
Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap
We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them
Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either
Bush Never Exhaled

A Little Silliness from My Little Loves

2007-04-12T12:35:00.000-04:00

How do you make a Tissue dance?

If April Showers brings May Flowers - What do May Flowers bring?

What do pigs put on their boos boos?

Why did the Turtle cross the road?

Why did the cookie go to the Hospital?

What did the Hat say to the Scarf?

a. Put a little Boogie in it
a. Pilgrims
a. Oinkment
a. To get to the Shell station
a. Because he felt crummy
a. Hang around while I go on ahead

No Wonder She Is So Good At Scrabble

2007-03-19T17:34:00.000-04:00

She is my 7 1/2 year old daughter. She has a great vocabulary and loves to play boggle and scrabble.

When we play word games with her, we are often pleasantly surprised by her choice of words she uses, and other times, we are stunned. She is the cunning, oops I mean the quiet observer and listener. She's always been this way.

So why should I be so shocked when, out of the blue last night, she asked me -

"Momma, what does Shmuck mean?"

Clearing my throat, I said, "Uh, what?"

"Shmuck. I heard you use it when you were talking about your friend."

"Um, well, uh, a Shmuck is a jerk. When someone is acting like a big jerk, that's what it means."

"Hmm", she sighed to herself.

"Then, momma, there is sure a lot of Shmucks at my school."

"Well, Nat, I am sure there are, but it's not a word you want to use at school."

Let's just save it for Scrabble. How many points is it worth?

Party Pictures

2007-03-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

My China Doll

2007-01-01T22:58:00.000-05:00

My little angel is surely growing up. I am savoring these moments with her that I know will soon disappear as she enters into her adolescence. She is only seven years old, but I can't help to think about this especially after the type of conversation we had tonight. We were driving home, and she told me that she feels that her life is just miserable. That she just doesn't feel right these days. She went on to explain how she felt by comparing herself to Mumble the Penguin, in the movie Happy Feet.

"Look, you know how Mumble was dropped by his father when he was still in his shell and when he was born, he couldn't sing like the others, but only could dance. All the other penguins made fun of him and he always had a hard time."

"I feel like that because I am always hurting myself, tripping and falling down."

"And I am always getting in trouble, just like him. My life is just getting harder for me."

" There is more, but I don't feel like talking about it now."

It's hard for me to express in words how that made me feel. I was thrilled that she was opening up and sharing with me her thoughts and feelings. That she trusted and felt comfortable to do so. Of course, she's my daughter, but even at seven, children won't neccessarily do this.

I also was very proud of her with the way she choose to analyze her situation. She must have been giving it a lot of thought and to be able to find that analogy and express and articulate it so brilliantly, really floored me. Especially because it's been over a month since when we saw the movie.

And I felt sadness - that she is feeling this pain. I didn't push her into telling me anything else, I just left it up to her to talk to me whenever she needs to - that I am always there to listen and so is daddy. I then asked her if she wanted to talk with her school counselor, which she only knows her as the nice friend at school that helps different children. She is actually a Special Ed. teacher but since it's such a small school, with only 80 children, she has many roles. Nat said that she did want to meet with her tomorrow, but was afraid that she wouldn't have time for her. I reassure her that her favorite friend will always make time for her.

I know that many people pooh pooh the times we live in; that we are too self absorbed and too into getting therapy whenever there is a problem. I think it's very healthy that our children are aware of these resources. That they know they always have an outlet and are comfortable with asking for help without the stigma attached to it. No way could I have ever imagined this conversation when I was a child. Noone even thought about sending me to a counselor when my mother died at age 6. Noone ever spoke about my mother's death or how I was coping with it. It happen, you moved on and adjust.

This is going to be an increasingly hard week for both of the kids. My father-n-law was diagnosed a few weeks ago with liver cancer and passed away yesterday afternoon. We were very fortunate to have spent both holidays with him, Chanukah and Christmas, when he was not too frail for the grandkids. We explained to Natalie about his disease. Thanks to Randi for her words of wisdom on how to best broach the subject. Upon her suggestion, we made a clear distinction between being sick and a disease, such as cancer. So often we use the word sick and we forget that children take it so literally and it's very easy for them to become anxious whenever they learn someone is "sick." There is a fear that the person who is sick will die too.

Children find all sorts of ways of coping that may not make any sense to us, adults. We just need to be able to recognize the signs, trust our instincts and always have an open mind and plenty of room in our hearts so they will feel secure and comfortable to come to us with anything on their minds.

Just a little funny and unrelated sidenote - last week when Nat and I were visiting NY, we went into Manhattan to gaze at many of the famous department store Christmas windows. To warm up we went into Bergdorf Goodman(cuz there is no other reason for us to be in such an upscale store) and we ooh and ahh over the $100 earmuffs that were on sale and the cool purses and such. We made a detour to the restroom which is on the 7th floor, aka the China, Vases and other beautiful gifts that are too expensive to ever even consider purchasing, so lets keep our hands to ourself and be very careful, kinda floor. As we were making our way through, Natalie said "Mommy, this floor looks just like Grandma's house." Of course, I had to immediately call my MIL. It's no wonder that our Nat is Grandma's favorite grandaughter. How can any child top that. ; )

Inner Self Revealed

2006-12-18T11:46:00.000-05:00

My 7 year old daughter has ADHD and within that are several other traits that impact her behaviors, her relationships with others and her successes socially and academically. She is very impulsive, can be anxious which in turn will evolve in impulsive behavior, is oppositional, and lacks many executive functions. Her occupational therapist has also said, she has sensory integration issues as well.

She is also very bright, affectionate, friendly and adapts well to new situations and people. Her teachers told me she loves to participate, she has a great sense of humor, often is the class clown and has a style of her own.

Now depending on who you speak to, some of these traits can be resolved daily through medication (concentration and focus and some alleviation of anxiety), behavior modification (rewards or points systems), peer therapy groups (both with occupational therapy and psychology) and cognitive intervention (online games, improving executive functions). No matter if it's cognitive or neurological - her impulsivity is a huge obstacle.

This morning, my husband and I met with the director of her peer therapy group and as we went down the list of challenges, once again, I felt that they were describing me. I had the same reaction when I read the report from my daughter's occupational therapist when describing some of the the traits associated with sensory integration.

As adults, "the lightbulb going off" moment, has been when we hit our mid 30's. When suddenly we are faced with tower of responsibilities, ranging the gamut of financial, home, parental, marriage, work, aging parents.

Were my learning disabilities situational or neurological? How did many of us who can identify with these disabilities, make it through childhood, adolescent and college? We somehow did but admittedly, it was difficult and we paid a price for it. Many of us were affected through our relationships with our peers and or our academics. As adults - with our jobs, our relationships, our self confidence, our choices in life. How many of us have avoided our potential because of fear of being anything less than perfect? Of feeling like a failure or just afraid of taking the risks that are necessary because we just couldn't get our act together to move forward. How many of us have self esteem issues that are so paralyzing, that we rather be unhappy in a state of predictability, than venture out and try again and again until we find the right circle of friends, the right job, hobbies, etc.

I am not saying that if you have ADD or ADHD as an adult, as well as some of the other labels that are associated with it, that what I have just describe is the norm. Of course, many folks are very accomplished professionally, socially, personally, but speaking from my own experiences and emotions, having a daughter with many of these challenges has really awakened me to my own disabilities and has helped me pinpoint the beginnings of my self confidence issues. For example, I would describe myself as outgoing, but I also get very anxious which leads to self doubt, which on a dime can turn me into a wall flower. Though admittedly, I find it very hard to stay there very long - I am too gregarious and soon want to participate, and then they cycle starts over again.

A long time dream of mine was to either work abroad for a nonprofit or create my own. More, Recently, I've become more and more interested in the desire to start my own business. My reasons for not doing any of the above, has been my inabilities to move beyond a fear, whether it's justified or not, and to just do it. To force myself into an uncomfortable state. To force myself to work really hard on my management disabilities, my social anxieties, and impulsivities. I hope that through all the hard work that I am throwing myself into doing, for my daughter's well being, that not only she will become a very self confident, well rounded, and able human being, that I will have also become one too.

Awww...I Love This Picture

2006-12-05T11:34:00.000-05:00

Baby Cousins

25 years apart...my sister's baby and mine

We’re Here, We’re Queer, We’re Fabulous, Get Used To It!

2006-10-23T01:00:00.000-04:00

Oops, that's the wrong Pride chant.

Recently, my children have been showing off their very Jewish pride, by acknowledging everyone and anything Jewish (even those that aren't.) I wish I could say my husband and I were the sole reason for this, but we're not - it's their schooling and peers too. What has resulted from it, though, are some very adorable stories, that I have shared on Our Kids Speak, a blog dedicated to the goofy things our children say and do, and that us parents are silly enough to share with the world.

Here are a few of them.

Even Dinosaurs Kept Kosher

Last night I was reading to my children, ages 4 and 7, a book on dinosaurs. When describing one dinosaur it said it was an herbivore. I asked my oldest if she new what that meant and she said no. So I asked her if she knew what a carnivore was.

"It's a meat-eater."

"Ok then, what do you think an herbivore is?"

"A milk-eater."

(This one below, is actually a comment to TorontoPearl's on OKS - "The Whole World's Jewish ")

Well, the other day at Home Depot, Noah, my 4 year old, starts yelling, "Look, look, a Jewish man, A Jewish Man."

We all looked around to see who he was talking about and sure enough we spotted the man.

"No sweetie, he's not Jewish, he's a Sihk."

"No mommy, he's Jewish. He's wearing a hat.

So the joke around our house is instead of

"the Man who mistook his wife for a hat."

We say "the son, who mistook a hat for a Jew."

*Hey what do you expect? It's 1:00 am in the morning!

So Much to Say, So Little ....

2006-09-26T20:24:00.000-04:00

Talent, Wit, Ambition, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda...to create my posts.

I have all these ideas and topics for posts that I want to write. I have written drafts, and have even written titles to help trigger thoughts that I am excited to explore, but I haven't been feeling that "something" that spurs on those creative juices , that "something" that when I hit publish post, I don't feel like yawning at.

I have a very bad habit of always comparing myself to others. I am my own worse enemy. Not to name drop, but when I read other bloggers such as Cruisin Mom, or Treppenwitz and many, many others, their posts are so funny or witty or just plain interesting. They can take a relatively absurd topic and spin it into something we all enjoy reading about.

I want that too. That talent to do that. The ease and natural flow of words. So often, I will think up a topic or be reminded of something I find funny or intriguing and I want to be able to share, but I'm just not able to. I do have those moments when everything just clicks and I am feeling confident enough to actually post it. I have to learn to let go of being too self conscious. It's easy when you are totally anonymous, totally unfamiliar to other bloggers, because then it doesn't really matter how off you are in your writings. Noone will judge you when they see your name elsewhere on someone's else's blog.

Perhaps it's that trait that is preventing me to feel at ease, to let loose and just open and write.

Perhaps, I will just write a word or jot down a thought, and let those who want to comment, lead.

How Did You Spend Your Labor Day Weekend?

2006-09-09T15:41:00.000-04:00

Here are a few highlights from mine, but first let me say thanks to everyone for still following my blog. I have been absent a while now due to many reasons including, internet problems that finally have been resolved (cross our fingers) and of course the end of summer is always a little chaotic too.

But now that I can go online again, I can't wait to share with you my adventures. Labor day weekend has become a tradition with my husband to escape and bond with his father at a Bluegrass Festival camping trip. So he was away most of the weekend - of course- my first "adventure" had to happen without him at home.

Hmm, where to start?

Saturday:
Well lets start with stupidity. My stupidity. My "ambition" to keep my word to the hubby about taking care of the litter box. For several months, whenever there was a towel or any piece of clothing on the floor, Noodles would pee on it. She knew where her litter box was and she did use it, but it was way down in the basement. So the Vet suggested putting a litter box on each floor of the house. So I gave in and put one in our guest bathroom. I have been very good about cleaning it out every day but I wondered about replacing the actual litter. How often am I suppose to do it? Well, I was in a cleaning mood, so I decided to do it.

I pour it all into my toilet and flushed. Immediately, I realized my mistake...my big, yucky mistake. The litter was not going down. So, not being stupid enough, I flushed again. Yep, the toilet overflowed and I was soon standing in an inch of grey toilet water. I lifted up the tank lid and couldn't figure out how to make the water stop other than lifting up the lever. I am screaming to the kids to run into the basement and find our old towels but they couldnt' find them, so I told them to get our next door neighbor and have her look, and then run over to our other neighbor and ask him to help me stop the water. My rescue team came, found the towels and the valve and now I needed to call the plumber. A plumber on a Saturday, over a major holiday weekend - yea right. So I called the plumber and of course his car wasn't working so he couldn't come, but, he was able to give me some advice on what to do. Put on some long rubber gloves (like I always have some around the house), stick my hand up the toilet pipe and dig out the clog.

So I did. I grabbed a bucket and a plunger and proceeded to stick my hand in the toilet and dig out the swollen, clogged litter. It helped a little, but I could still feel the sludge of it, so I manuevered my arm a little further up the pipe, of course that meant practically sticking my face into the toilet. When I couldn't stick my hand any further, I grabbed a wire hanger and tried. That worked a bit, but still, I couldn't get it all. I am pretty gross by now. Just wearing a long white t-shirt and panties. The heck with modesty, I just wanted someone to help me with this clog. So I headed outside, knocking on my male neighbors doors, hoping that someone had a snake that I could use - nope, nada soul. So I unwind the wire hanger some more, forced it up further into the pipe, and voila, the clogged came loose. I filled up a bucket with wet cat litter. After getting rid of that, I still had to deal with the flood in the bathroom. Thank goodness for Bleach - lots and lots of bleach. I definitely learned my lesson for the day. I will never do that again. But I am proud that I was able to unclogged the toilet and save ourselves $200 plus dollars.

Sunday: Orange soda
Sunday afternoon, I took the kids for icecream sundaes. We decided to sit outside near Starbucks and enjoy the weather and people watch. Our table was in the corner adjacent to two sides of parking. Next to me were two police cruisers. Directly behind me was an empty space with a can of sode upright in it. I didn't think anything about the can, other than someone had littered. Suddenly a car pulls in behind me and POP, the can of soda exploded and I feel wetness on the back of my shirt, pants and feet. The guys in the cars felt awful. I was a bit stunned not realizing what had just happened. They got out and not only was I wet (but minimally) but the police cruisers directly next me was covered in orange soda. I was wearing dark clothes and it dried pretty quickly, but it still sucked. Natalie said to me, "Mom, I know that it was bad for that to happen, but that was still VERY COOL!" Well, she did have a point, but still I could have done without that type of cooling off.

Monday: Beware of Golf Balls.
The weather was beautiful, David was home from camping, and we decided to go on a family drive into the country. All is well, we are having a great time, and David and I are talking about my upcoming eye surgery. Suddenly, in mid-sentence, BAM (let me repeat that very loudly...BAM!!!) Out of the corner of my right eye, I see this white ball fly off the side of our van. Totally confused, for a moment there, I thought it was hail. But it wasn't raining, how could it be hail? What the hell was that? I soon realized that we were driving next to a golf course and our car was just pounded by a golf ball. I was yelling at Hubby to pull over so we can check out the car, or maybe even see the guy who swung it towards us, but he kept on driving, insisting that nothing can be done about it. I wasn't very happy about it. "That ball came very close to the window. How can you not stop?"

Near our house, we stopped to pick up some groceries. When I got out, I looked and looked and couldn't see a dent. How could that be? That ball hit really hard. Natalie was outside looking too and then she pointed and said, "There mommy, it's a hole."

A hole the size of a golf ball. On the back of the car door mirror, was a nice big hole. Thank GOD that mirror was there, or else I wouldn't just be having cataract surgery on my left eye. I could have been having major surgery on my RIGHT eye.

So there you have it - my advertures of Labor Day Weekend? : )

Thanks Nilou for the Laugh...

2006-07-03T13:43:00.000-04:00

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.

Rednecks - What Can I Say, They're Family

2006-06-16T10:54:00.000-04:00

This joke goes out to Z, who will probably get a good laugh from it. I know I did, especially knowing how true this is.

Jesus and the Redneck - joke courtesy from my buddy Joe.

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give
Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back.

He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the Waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"

The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give
Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said,For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, Don't touch me...I'm drawin' disability."

Bad Mommy, No Cake

2006-06-01T10:26:00.000-04:00

It seems that between taking deep breaths and listening to old standards, my mind must really be elsewhere, because I totally flaked out and did a huge Mommy uh oh.

I dropped my daughter off at school today, and although I was a little confused that there were literally no cars in the parking lot, I went ahead and gave her a kiss goodbye and drove off to my son's speech therapist appt (I also didn't have my cell phone with me.)

I just got home and I noticed there is a message on my answering machine and my cell. Yep, it's the Rabbi.

So I call the school to find out what's up (cuz to be honest in the past, it's never a good sign when I get a call from the Rabbi - my daughter, has, well, the occasional melt downs, and so I thought, oh no, not another one, and this is a half day.) Well, that definitely wasn't what it was.

The Rabbi answered the phone and said, "I'm sorry, but we don't have school today, so it's lucky that I am a workaholic, or else, she would have been at the door pressing the bell to be let inside all day. Perhaps, I should have written it in bigger letters for the past four weeks in the weekly newsletter and monthly calendars."

It probably wouldn't have made any difference. My mind has been in the clouds.

I thought last night that she may not have had any school today (I knew that she is off on Friday) so I check the calendar that is handed out at the beginning of the school year, and it said it was only a half day. Boy do I feel like a bad mommy.

Fortunately, the Rabbi was able to reach my husband and he went to pick her up.

Oy....my husband is not going to let me live this down.

One of the Best Mother's Day Gifts Ever

2006-05-15T09:03:00.000-04:00

From my 4 year old cuddly bear, Noah

"Dear Adults, Now It´s Your Turn"

2006-03-17T12:00:00.000-05:00

I read this letter below and found it not only very moving, but courageous and admirable for standing up for what you strongly believe in.

This past summer was very emotional and the fate of Israel, post disengagement, was and still is in question. Personally, I don't think it was a mistake to give up the Gaza Strip, but even with my little political and historical knowledge, I do think it was a grave mistake on the part of Israel to not have annex Judea/Samaria (West Bank), leaving it vulnerable and ready to be handed over too. I do believe a compromise needs to happen and that it shouldn't be an all or nothing, but ALL the settlement blocs that exist today should be protected by Israel and not sacrifice out of political spite and gain and religious hatred.

It has been admitted by many religious bloggers who live in the West Bank that they wish they had or should have been out there, on the line, as activists, showing the determination and idealogical fervor that these youth are demonstrating. But for almost anyone who is now in the their 30's or older can attest, that somewhere between 16 and 30, life's responsibilities changed us. We still may feel passionate about the causes, but we are not tangibly doing anything about them. We are working from behind. I think the 16 yr old who wrote this is very insightful and hopefully will be successful in rewaking the activist in us adults, no matter what our religious affiliation.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A 16-year-old resident of Beit El in Judea/Samaria wrote the following to his neighbors, referring to the Face-to-Face get-out-the-religious/right-wing-vote campaign currently underway in Israel.

• We, the Youth - gave up our summer vacation and went around giving out orange ribbons.

• We, the Youth - were in Kfar Maimon, where you asked us not to go wild, so we didn't

• We, the Youth - sat with self-sacrifice on roads and highways in order to prevent the expulsion.

• We, the Youth - were arrested and tried by a twisted system of "law and order."

• We, the Youth - sat for days and weeks in prison, sometimes in indescribably harsh conditions.

• We, the Youth - marched for many kilometers in the fields of the south in order to save the Gush.

• We, the Youth - lived in crowded conditions in Gush Katif because we believed that in this way we could prevent the uprooting.

• We, the Youth - we were hit in our heads and all over our bodies in Amona by wild men known as "law enforcers."

And you, the adults - and excuse me for the generalization - mainly supported us from behind. You told us, "Yasher koach, great job, what wonderful youth!" You told us, "We have jobs and family."

And you know something? You were right. At that time, what we did was our job.But now, the moment of truth has arrived. And now we say to you that the "Face to Face" campaign is your job. Now it's your turn.• Now it's your turn. Because you told us, "You have to look at the long-range."

• Now it's your turn. Because there's no chance that the average secular person will pay real attention to a young 16-year-old.

• Now it's your turn. Because to tell the truth, it's hard for us to know how to explain and persuade someone who doesn't believe.

• Now it's your turn. Because according to the natural course of events, if a Kadima government is formed, it won't leave a single stone in place here.

• Now it's your turn. Because if you stay at home now, it's not clear that you'll have a home to stay in later.

• Now it's your turn. Because if you say, "I can't leave my job," how do you know that later you'll have a job at all? - see entry for "Gush Katif residents."

• Now it's your turn. Because it's better to go face-to-face with the residents of Petach Tikvah than with those in the black uniforms.

• Now it's your turn, and please do it with all your souls, so that it won't soon be our turn again.

Please, mom and dad, go out to Tel Aviv or somewhere else today. We'll take care of the rest.

Pulling an Andy Rooney

2006-01-27T14:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know I am going to get slammed for saying this, but it's just how I feel.

Why have a baby if you are going to let someone else raise your child? I work for a company that has a lot of women in high level positions. I have worked in the company for almost 8 years and have seen many of these women rise up in the ranks. Their husbands have good jobs, they make a huge salary and they are leading very comfortable lives. When these women get pregnant and then run back to work as soon as the baby is 3 or 4 months old, it irks me to no end. They work very long hours, often not leaving until 6:30 or 7:00pm. I have other friends or aquaintences of mine that leave the house at 7am with their kids in tow to a daycare and then at don't pick them up until 6pm. They are basically weekend parents. Afterall how much quality time can you spend with your children when you are rushing out the door in the morning and then at night if you are not lucky enough to have your nanny cook dinner, your evening is spent making supper and tucking the kids to bed. Financially, sure they have money for great vacations, all those activities that are scheduled for the kids, etc, but really what the kids want is the attention. Real, quality time not an hour here and there. I am not advocating that it has to be the woman who has to stay at home, but definitely a parent. I also understand that for many couples, a two person income is just getting by these days, and for those couples, my heart goes out to them for having no other choice. But for those, who truly can still get by without the second income but use the excuse that without it, their lifestyle would be cramped, hey, my husband is a teacher and we made some sacrafices. I went back to work when my daughter was 14 months, but made sure I left work at 5pm instead of 6pm. When my son was born, I took the time off and as he got older, I worked part-time so I could spend quality time with him during the day.

For those who say that they worked very hard to get where they are and they don't want to give up their career. Well then, I believe you really can't have it work out both ways when the children are very young that is mentally healthy...the full time career and the full time parenthood. Sorry for the rant but each time I run into these women at work, who have little babies at home with their nannies, it just bugs the hell out of me.

We don't live in an upscale neighborhood and we don't drive luxury cars, but we are comfortable and we feel good knowing that when our children were infants and toddlers, we took time out and gave it to them without squeezing it into two days of the week.

I Enjoy Being a Girl

2006-01-04T00:14:00.000-05:00

When I have a brand new hairdo

With my eyelashes all in curls,

I float as the clouds on air do,

I enjoy being a girl!

I love that song, especially when it's time for the annual visit to our dear friend, Doctor G. or even more fun, when it's time to go for our mammogram. I am a little young to start getting mammograms, but breast cancer has already struck two of my aunts on my mother side (and thankfully they are still alive and well) and I was advised to start earlier to get my exams. Can everyone say OUCH! I am not sure why on my first visit, I didn't experience the same type of pain that most women describe, but I have officially joined the club of smooshed boobs and OMG - OUCH - painful! I should have known that this visit was going to be a different experience. Excuse me now for my sense of humor, but I had such a chuckle when I was changing into my gown (and btw, why are all those examination rooms so COLD? Is it not enough that we are asked to dress in these embarrassing little paper robes and then further humilated when asked to flop something here, lift something there, and isn't it true that no matter how far down you sit on the edge of the table, it's just never enough? There goes their hands motioning you to move down some more.)

Ok, sorry for the tangent. So as I was saying - I started to laugh, because playing loudly above me, on the overhead speakers, was one of my favorite singers, Billy Joel. Talking about the wrong time and place for this song and to add insult to injury, the advertisement immediately after this song, was for the touring broadway play, Les Miserables. Was someone or something trying to tell me something?

Well I am glad to say that after getting flattened out like a pancake, the xrays must have been enough, since I wasn't asked to retake any. Thank goodness, for all I wanted to do immediately afterwards was to go find a gym and start working out on the machines that strengthen the chest muscles, hoping that I would fluff right back up again. Whew! (taking a quick peek) wow that was quick.

Woo Hoo, Yippee! Two more years until my next visit! Can't wait!

Teach Your Children Well

2005-10-19T01:31:00.001-04:00

Powerful words. Words that I have been thinking a lot about these past few weeks.

My friends have told me that I am being to hard on myself. That I should just accept myself as I am. That no, I am not that low maintenance personality - calm, patient, maternal.

I would like to take their advice but I can't. I don't think it's fair to my children. I already see the same traits in my daughter as I had when I was her age. I swore to myself that when I had children they would not inherit the same legacy as I did from my mother and her mother and her grandmother. All strong, opinionated women with high expectations, a need to always be in control, and full of insecurities. I lack patience and I am quick with the temper with those I love the most. I never moved passed the id stage in life. No, that's not completely true. I am an affectionate and compassionate person. I am always drawn to the underdog, the sufferer of injustice. I was once asked why that is so. What did I hope to accomplish or was I even aware of it? It really caught me off guard but it was also very thought provoking.

I swore to myself that my children would not be like me, my sister, my nieces, my aunts. I come from a family who yells too much. A friend of mine told me that is a prerequisite of being a Jewish mother, that and the guilt. I do feel guilty, because despite my attempts to prevent this from being passed down to the next generation, I have failed. I love my children, but many times, I don't like being a mother. A favorite aunt would be better. I could spoil them, give them lots of attention with plenty of patience, coddle and dote on them and always have nice things to say to them. That would be ideal. But that's a rescue fantasy.

My daughter is a mini-me. Truth be known, it's rather scary how much we have in common. Yes, much of it is environmental (my taste in music, for instance), but a lot of it is just innate. I don't want her going doing down the same path as I did. At times it was very painful and lonely. Times have changed. Catch phrases have changed too. When I was young, noone knew about ADHD or Sensory Integration disabilities. My husband swears that I have ADD. I don't see it, but I do believe I probably had the later... Sensory Integration.

At 35, my husband realized he had ADD. He would sit in meetings at his school, with parents, educators, counselors and discuss a particular child's behavior. Whenever it was brought up that the child most likely had ADHD because of a list of symptoms and behavioral patterns, something always clicked with him. The way the child was described...lazy, very smart but not focused, can't sit still, starts a project but never finishes and so on. That was him to the T.

And that's our daughter too, but she is an experimental learner and that scares the hell out of us. She too, is smart, strong willed , impulsive, and bossy. Despite the consequences, she would rather get her way than relinquish any control. She loves the dance, the drama. She's my drama queen. But she is also very affectionate, compassionate, a nurturer when it really counts, and a seeker of justice.

Just like me.

I'm One of Those

2005-10-16T01:26:00.000-04:00

I am one of those bleeding hearts liberals that swallow all the lies that the conspirators throw out to us. Big business and international multicorporation's poison, corporate welfare, the social injustices the are in the name of capitalism and democracy - imperialism, exploitation of "inferior" people and natural resources - yep all those lies. The lies about genocide, global warming, organic food, lost habitat and extinction of species.

I am not a Rhodes scholar or an analyst from the Brookings Institute, so my blog won't be spun of intellectual and poetic writing. I am just a woman who had to give up working as an environmental advocate because it was so painful.

Recently I saw two movies that are still etched in my mind. Powerful reality checks. It just makes me wonder how people can not possibly be touched by the subject matter. People who would view the movies as hype, as emotional propaganda. I am speaking of Hotel Rwanda and The Constant Gardener. I am hoping to see another movie that I am sure will rattle cages of the conservative right...Good Night, and Good Luck.

I am still quite raw from watching The Constant Gardener tonight and I am not ready to discuss it right now. The movie is based on a John Le Carre novel. Yes, a novel. But how far off is the premise of the book from the truth?

Many of the people that I know or have read swing to the right primarily for one single issue...Israel. They distrust almost everyone on the left because some of them have criticism toward Israel and the Palestinian conflict. It does disturb me that these organizations tend to side with the Palestinians and see Israel as an imperialist. I don't believe that. But my opinion isn't skewed against them because of that. The global work they do is far too important. For many people, the environment and other causes depend on them to expose what the mainstream media and the UN ignores. The press - liberal - I don't think so. The press reports on what the general public wants to hear. What will make them feel good about their consumer lifestyle. It all comes down to money and convenience, and of course power for the rich politicians and corporate heads. They don't report on the truth behind the WTO, IMF and the World Bank's underlying agendas. Only about the protestors and a few anarchist that will look for any excuse to cause problems. But I am getting sidetracked.

It pains me when "the other side" doesn't get it. That stubborness, party loyalty, single issue agendas, and utlimately money stand in the way of empathizing and working towards eliminating human suffering and environmental and social injustices.

The Early Bird Catches the Worm...Why Noah Why?

2005-09-26T01:05:00.000-04:00

My husband and I are thrilled by our children's curiousity and lack of fear of insects. They dig around the ground looking for worms, they climb on trees looking for cicadas, they dig around in the bushes and the garden looking for catepillars, grasshoppers and crickets. When we come across something that looks quite strange (and we have found plenty that are) we will take them to the Nature center near our house and ask the naturalist what it is. Now, I know some people are a little protective of their young ones playing in the dirt or with insects because of germs. I am not a doctor, but I think it's very healthy for children to be exposed to germs. I think it's more dangerous to constantly keep them sanitized. Please don't misunderstand me, they are not walking around without their shoes, or with greasy hair or filthy bodies, but playing in the yard, digging up dirt, examining what they have found, there is something so beautiful within that. It captures the essence of childhood innocence.

However, there are lines that can be and will be crossed. Obviously I get nervous when their comfort level extends to handling spiders (daddy long legs are the exception) and other potentially harmful bugs. But there is only one word that can describe what happen today and that is DISGUSTING!

This evening, Noah told me that his underwear felt uncomfortable. I glanced over to him and thought maybe he had gotten a wedgie and as soon as I finished with whatever I was doing, I would help him out. Time passed, I forgot to help him and once again he tells me his underewear is bothering him. That the front is really itchy. About the time when he first told me he was uncomfortable, both he and my daughter were outside, under their trampoline, looking for bugs. They were not fighting, they were out of my hair, and I actually got a few minutes of peace. Fast forward....Noah complains that he is itchy and Natalie pipes up and says "well that is because you were putting the worms down your underwear, but that's ok Mom, because I took them all out." "WHAT!!! Noah..you did WHAT?" "Noah put worms in his underwear, but Mom, really, it's ok..I got them out."

So I pulled him aside and immediately started to rip open underwear (Pull-ups). OH MY GOD.. YUCK!!! In there was a long, brown earthworm, squirming around his penis...I thought I was going to faint. I grabbed him up, took him outside, ripped off the pants and shook them out. I think there were two worms in the layers of the pull-up, just squirming all around. Words cannot explain the disgust I just witnessed. Awful images and worst case scenerios kept flashing across my mind. A friend of mine's daughter had ringworms, those white worms that get into your skin and come out when you poop....OMG!!! I had thought if my chiidren ever gt lice, I would totally freak out, but I was wrong. Long, brown, wiggly worms in your child's underwear..comes quite close.

So, there is Mom, freaking out and there is my son, Noah, just smiling and giggling and shrugging his shoulders when again and again and again, my neighbors and I ask...WHY Noah WHY?

Is this what they mean when they said "Boys will be Boys."

Clueless

2005-09-26T00:49:00.001-04:00

I was taking a stroll during lunch and noticed an empty pack of cigarettes thrown in the bushes. For a brief moment, I suddenly got a craving for a cigarette. I am not a smoker, yet, sometimes every few years or so, I will get a craving to have one. I can feel the desire from deep within my lungs. Sometimes I give in, bum a cigarette and satisfy that craving, only to be disgusted afterwards by the taste and the slight head rush.

My mind is always racing, jumping from one thought to another, free association gone unchecked. So not surprisingly, when I was thinking about the desire to bum a cigarette, I also started to reflect back to the first time I experienced trying my first cigarette. I was probably around 9 or 10. My friends and I would take my father's cigarette butts (non filters) and smoke them. We would also pour ourselves gingerale, sit along the bar counter adjacent to the kitchen, and pretend it was a drink. We didn't do it often, maybe for fun every once and while. Those were the days that all you saw on tv were grownups pouring themselves drinks from their liquor cart.

When I was twelve years old, I was quite brazen and actually smoked my father's cigarettes in the car while he was driving. Does Paper Moon ring a bell? I wonder if my father had a clue to what I was doing? We were moving from one state to another and the car was pack full. I remember, sitting in the front seat, sneaking his cigarette butts and smoking them out the window. I think I draped something to block his view, I don't quite remember. Could he have been that clueless or did he just ignored it? My father was a very gentle and passive soul. He never disciplined or yelled at me. It was just him and I from the time I was six years old and I know he tried his best to be a good father, but he was so laid back and worried free that he treated me more like a grownup than a kid. So I just wonder...did he really know what I was doing?

When I was around 13/14 yrs old, my friends would come over and we would go inside the bathroom, turn on the shower and the fan, and smoke cigarettes. I guess the house already smelled like cigarettes, I don't really remember, so perhaps they never caught on. But wouldn't you think it's weird to have the shower on during the day, with your friends in the bathroom with you? And we lived in a small apartment. Good thing I had great common sense and self discipline when it came to more serious vices. Never tried them and usually left other kids homes when they would.

Funny, how walking past a pack of cigarettes could triggered so many memories.