My 7 year old daughter has ADHD and within that are several other traits that impact her behaviors, her relationships with others and her successes socially and academically. She is very impulsive, can be anxious which in turn will evolve in impulsive behavior, is oppositional, and lacks many executive functions. Her occupational therapist has also said, she has sensory integration issues as well.
She is also very bright, affectionate, friendly and adapts well to new situations and people. Her teachers told me she loves to participate, she has a great sense of humor, often is the class clown and has a style of her own.
Now depending on who you speak to, some of these traits can be resolved daily through medication (concentration and focus and some alleviation of anxiety), behavior modification (rewards or points systems), peer therapy groups (both with occupational therapy and psychology) and cognitive intervention (online games, improving executive functions). No matter if it's cognitive or neurological - her impulsivity is a huge obstacle.
This morning, my husband and I met with the director of her peer therapy group and as we went down the list of challenges, once again, I felt that they were describing me. I had the same reaction when I read the report from my daughter's occupational therapist when describing some of the the traits associated with sensory integration.
As adults, "the lightbulb going off" moment, has been when we hit our mid 30's. When suddenly we are faced with tower of responsibilities, ranging the gamut of financial, home, parental, marriage, work, aging parents.
Were my learning disabilities situational or neurological? How did many of us who can identify with these disabilities, make it through childhood, adolescent and college? We somehow did but admittedly, it was difficult and we paid a price for it. Many of us were affected through our relationships with our peers and or our academics. As adults - with our jobs, our relationships, our self confidence, our choices in life. How many of us have avoided our potential because of fear of being anything less than perfect? Of feeling like a failure or just afraid of taking the risks that are necessary because we just couldn't get our act together to move forward. How many of us have self esteem issues that are so paralyzing, that we rather be unhappy in a state of predictability, than venture out and try again and again until we find the right circle of friends, the right job, hobbies, etc.
I am not saying that if you have ADD or ADHD as an adult, as well as some of the other labels that are associated with it, that what I have just describe is the norm. Of course, many folks are very accomplished professionally, socially, personally, but speaking from my own experiences and emotions, having a daughter with many of these challenges has really awakened me to my own disabilities and has helped me pinpoint the beginnings of my self confidence issues. For example, I would describe myself as outgoing, but I also get very anxious which leads to self doubt, which on a dime can turn me into a wall flower. Though admittedly, I find it very hard to stay there very long - I am too gregarious and soon want to participate, and then they cycle starts over again.
A long time dream of mine was to either work abroad for a nonprofit or create my own. More, Recently, I've become more and more interested in the desire to start my own business. My reasons for not doing any of the above, has been my inabilities to move beyond a fear, whether it's justified or not, and to just do it. To force myself into an uncomfortable state. To force myself to work really hard on my management disabilities, my social anxieties, and impulsivities. I hope that through all the hard work that I am throwing myself into doing, for my daughter's well being, that not only she will become a very self confident, well rounded, and able human being, that I will have also become one too.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
We’re Here, We’re Queer, We’re Fabulous, Get Used To It!
Oops, that's the wrong Pride chant.
Recently, my children have been showing off their very Jewish pride, by acknowledging everyone and anything Jewish (even those that aren't.) I wish I could say my husband and I were the sole reason for this, but we're not - it's their schooling and peers too. What has resulted from it, though, are some very adorable stories, that I have shared on Our Kids Speak, a blog dedicated to the goofy things our children say and do, and that us parents are silly enough to share with the world.
Here are a few of them.
Even Dinosaurs Kept Kosher
Recently, my children have been showing off their very Jewish pride, by acknowledging everyone and anything Jewish (even those that aren't.) I wish I could say my husband and I were the sole reason for this, but we're not - it's their schooling and peers too. What has resulted from it, though, are some very adorable stories, that I have shared on Our Kids Speak, a blog dedicated to the goofy things our children say and do, and that us parents are silly enough to share with the world.
Here are a few of them.
Even Dinosaurs Kept Kosher
Last night I was reading to my children, ages 4 and 7, a book on dinosaurs. When describing one dinosaur it said it was an herbivore. I asked my oldest if she new what that meant and she said no. So I asked her if she knew what a carnivore was.
"It's a meat-eater."
"Ok then, what do you think an herbivore is?"
"A milk-eater."
(This one below, is actually a comment to TorontoPearl's on OKS - "The Whole World's Jewish ")
Well, the other day at Home Depot, Noah, my 4 year old, starts yelling, "Look, look, a Jewish man, A Jewish Man."
We all looked around to see who he was talking about and sure enough we spotted the man.
"No sweetie, he's not Jewish, he's a Sihk."
"No mommy, he's Jewish. He's wearing a hat.
So the joke around our house is instead of
"the Man who mistook his wife for a hat."
We say "the son, who mistook a hat for a Jew."
*Hey what do you expect? It's 1:00 am in the morning!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
How Did You Spend Your Labor Day Weekend?
Here are a few highlights from mine, but first let me say thanks to everyone for still following my blog. I have been absent a while now due to many reasons including, internet problems that finally have been resolved (cross our fingers) and of course the end of summer is always a little chaotic too.
But now that I can go online again, I can't wait to share with you my adventures. Labor day weekend has become a tradition with my husband to escape and bond with his father at a Bluegrass Festival camping trip. So he was away most of the weekend - of course- my first "adventure" had to happen without him at home.
Hmm, where to start?
Saturday:
Well lets start with stupidity. My stupidity. My "ambition" to keep my word to the hubby about taking care of the litter box. For several months, whenever there was a towel or any piece of clothing on the floor, Noodles would pee on it. She knew where her litter box was and she did use it, but it was way down in the basement. So the Vet suggested putting a litter box on each floor of the house. So I gave in and put one in our guest bathroom. I have been very good about cleaning it out every day but I wondered about replacing the actual litter. How often am I suppose to do it? Well, I was in a cleaning mood, so I decided to do it.
I pour it all into my toilet and flushed. Immediately, I realized my mistake...my big, yucky mistake. The litter was not going down. So, not being stupid enough, I flushed again. Yep, the toilet overflowed and I was soon standing in an inch of grey toilet water. I lifted up the tank lid and couldn't figure out how to make the water stop other than lifting up the lever. I am screaming to the kids to run into the basement and find our old towels but they couldnt' find them, so I told them to get our next door neighbor and have her look, and then run over to our other neighbor and ask him to help me stop the water. My rescue team came, found the towels and the valve and now I needed to call the plumber. A plumber on a Saturday, over a major holiday weekend - yea right. So I called the plumber and of course his car wasn't working so he couldn't come, but, he was able to give me some advice on what to do. Put on some long rubber gloves (like I always have some around the house), stick my hand up the toilet pipe and dig out the clog.
So I did. I grabbed a bucket and a plunger and proceeded to stick my hand in the toilet and dig out the swollen, clogged litter. It helped a little, but I could still feel the sludge of it, so I manuevered my arm a little further up the pipe, of course that meant practically sticking my face into the toilet. When I couldn't stick my hand any further, I grabbed a wire hanger and tried. That worked a bit, but still, I couldn't get it all. I am pretty gross by now. Just wearing a long white t-shirt and panties. The heck with modesty, I just wanted someone to help me with this clog. So I headed outside, knocking on my male neighbors doors, hoping that someone had a snake that I could use - nope, nada soul. So I unwind the wire hanger some more, forced it up further into the pipe, and voila, the clogged came loose. I filled up a bucket with wet cat litter. After getting rid of that, I still had to deal with the flood in the bathroom. Thank goodness for Bleach - lots and lots of bleach. I definitely learned my lesson for the day. I will never do that again. But I am proud that I was able to unclogged the toilet and save ourselves $200 plus dollars.
Sunday: Orange soda
Sunday afternoon, I took the kids for icecream sundaes. We decided to sit outside near Starbucks and enjoy the weather and people watch. Our table was in the corner adjacent to two sides of parking. Next to me were two police cruisers. Directly behind me was an empty space with a can of sode upright in it. I didn't think anything about the can, other than someone had littered. Suddenly a car pulls in behind me and POP, the can of soda exploded and I feel wetness on the back of my shirt, pants and feet. The guys in the cars felt awful. I was a bit stunned not realizing what had just happened. They got out and not only was I wet (but minimally) but the police cruisers directly next me was covered in orange soda. I was wearing dark clothes and it dried pretty quickly, but it still sucked. Natalie said to me, "Mom, I know that it was bad for that to happen, but that was still VERY COOL!" Well, she did have a point, but still I could have done without that type of cooling off.
Monday: Beware of Golf Balls.
The weather was beautiful, David was home from camping, and we decided to go on a family drive into the country. All is well, we are having a great time, and David and I are talking about my upcoming eye surgery. Suddenly, in mid-sentence, BAM (let me repeat that very loudly...BAM!!!) Out of the corner of my right eye, I see this white ball fly off the side of our van. Totally confused, for a moment there, I thought it was hail. But it wasn't raining, how could it be hail? What the hell was that? I soon realized that we were driving next to a golf course and our car was just pounded by a golf ball. I was yelling at Hubby to pull over so we can check out the car, or maybe even see the guy who swung it towards us, but he kept on driving, insisting that nothing can be done about it. I wasn't very happy about it. "That ball came very close to the window. How can you not stop?"
Near our house, we stopped to pick up some groceries. When I got out, I looked and looked and couldn't see a dent. How could that be? That ball hit really hard. Natalie was outside looking too and then she pointed and said, "There mommy, it's a hole."
A hole the size of a golf ball. On the back of the car door mirror, was a nice big hole. Thank GOD that mirror was there, or else I wouldn't just be having cataract surgery on my left eye. I could have been having major surgery on my RIGHT eye.
So there you have it - my advertures of Labor Day Weekend? : )
But now that I can go online again, I can't wait to share with you my adventures. Labor day weekend has become a tradition with my husband to escape and bond with his father at a Bluegrass Festival camping trip. So he was away most of the weekend - of course- my first "adventure" had to happen without him at home.
Hmm, where to start?
Saturday:
Well lets start with stupidity. My stupidity. My "ambition" to keep my word to the hubby about taking care of the litter box. For several months, whenever there was a towel or any piece of clothing on the floor, Noodles would pee on it. She knew where her litter box was and she did use it, but it was way down in the basement. So the Vet suggested putting a litter box on each floor of the house. So I gave in and put one in our guest bathroom. I have been very good about cleaning it out every day but I wondered about replacing the actual litter. How often am I suppose to do it? Well, I was in a cleaning mood, so I decided to do it.
I pour it all into my toilet and flushed. Immediately, I realized my mistake...my big, yucky mistake. The litter was not going down. So, not being stupid enough, I flushed again. Yep, the toilet overflowed and I was soon standing in an inch of grey toilet water. I lifted up the tank lid and couldn't figure out how to make the water stop other than lifting up the lever. I am screaming to the kids to run into the basement and find our old towels but they couldnt' find them, so I told them to get our next door neighbor and have her look, and then run over to our other neighbor and ask him to help me stop the water. My rescue team came, found the towels and the valve and now I needed to call the plumber. A plumber on a Saturday, over a major holiday weekend - yea right. So I called the plumber and of course his car wasn't working so he couldn't come, but, he was able to give me some advice on what to do. Put on some long rubber gloves (like I always have some around the house), stick my hand up the toilet pipe and dig out the clog.
So I did. I grabbed a bucket and a plunger and proceeded to stick my hand in the toilet and dig out the swollen, clogged litter. It helped a little, but I could still feel the sludge of it, so I manuevered my arm a little further up the pipe, of course that meant practically sticking my face into the toilet. When I couldn't stick my hand any further, I grabbed a wire hanger and tried. That worked a bit, but still, I couldn't get it all. I am pretty gross by now. Just wearing a long white t-shirt and panties. The heck with modesty, I just wanted someone to help me with this clog. So I headed outside, knocking on my male neighbors doors, hoping that someone had a snake that I could use - nope, nada soul. So I unwind the wire hanger some more, forced it up further into the pipe, and voila, the clogged came loose. I filled up a bucket with wet cat litter. After getting rid of that, I still had to deal with the flood in the bathroom. Thank goodness for Bleach - lots and lots of bleach. I definitely learned my lesson for the day. I will never do that again. But I am proud that I was able to unclogged the toilet and save ourselves $200 plus dollars.
Sunday: Orange soda
Sunday afternoon, I took the kids for icecream sundaes. We decided to sit outside near Starbucks and enjoy the weather and people watch. Our table was in the corner adjacent to two sides of parking. Next to me were two police cruisers. Directly behind me was an empty space with a can of sode upright in it. I didn't think anything about the can, other than someone had littered. Suddenly a car pulls in behind me and POP, the can of soda exploded and I feel wetness on the back of my shirt, pants and feet. The guys in the cars felt awful. I was a bit stunned not realizing what had just happened. They got out and not only was I wet (but minimally) but the police cruisers directly next me was covered in orange soda. I was wearing dark clothes and it dried pretty quickly, but it still sucked. Natalie said to me, "Mom, I know that it was bad for that to happen, but that was still VERY COOL!" Well, she did have a point, but still I could have done without that type of cooling off.
Monday: Beware of Golf Balls.
The weather was beautiful, David was home from camping, and we decided to go on a family drive into the country. All is well, we are having a great time, and David and I are talking about my upcoming eye surgery. Suddenly, in mid-sentence, BAM (let me repeat that very loudly...BAM!!!) Out of the corner of my right eye, I see this white ball fly off the side of our van. Totally confused, for a moment there, I thought it was hail. But it wasn't raining, how could it be hail? What the hell was that? I soon realized that we were driving next to a golf course and our car was just pounded by a golf ball. I was yelling at Hubby to pull over so we can check out the car, or maybe even see the guy who swung it towards us, but he kept on driving, insisting that nothing can be done about it. I wasn't very happy about it. "That ball came very close to the window. How can you not stop?"
Near our house, we stopped to pick up some groceries. When I got out, I looked and looked and couldn't see a dent. How could that be? That ball hit really hard. Natalie was outside looking too and then she pointed and said, "There mommy, it's a hole."
A hole the size of a golf ball. On the back of the car door mirror, was a nice big hole. Thank GOD that mirror was there, or else I wouldn't just be having cataract surgery on my left eye. I could have been having major surgery on my RIGHT eye.
So there you have it - my advertures of Labor Day Weekend? : )
Monday, May 15, 2006
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