Do you remember what you were doing that weekend? I do.
I was determined to have one last fling with someone I knew I would never be with again. Someone I loved very much. It was over between us. It had been since the beginning of that summer.
But a trip to Israel over the summer and then a few weeks hanging out in NY before school began in Boston, and all those feelings of regret and secretly hoping that I could change his mind, led me to disregard my friends' advice. I soon found myself making an excuse to go over and visit with him. Deep inside I knew that by being there, it wouldn't change anything, that he still wanted the relationship to end, but I missed him so much, I just wanted to sleep in his arms again, to be able to make love to him one more time. And I got what what I wished for - man, men are easy. It truly doesn't take much for them to give in, especially when you are a cute and sexy 21 year old.
But karma has a way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it. It doesn't like to be screwed with or else you'll get screwed.
A month and half later, I had to make a choice. And thank god, I was able to make that choice legally and safely.
Every now and then I will think about 'what if', but never with any sadness or regret. I've never had any regrets for my decision.
It just was the wrong time with the wrong man.
Monday, September 03, 2007
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7 comments:
That is quite a story.
Man, men are easy.
My inclination is to make a snarky comment, but I'll refrain.
I agree that it is good that you had options.
Oh c'mon Jack... snarky comments are welcome here.
I promise, I am in a better mood.
Let's hope that if our daughters are ever in the same position, they will have the same options available to them.
Choice is underappreciated in our society, until it's taken away.
AMM - as parents, we may not like the idea of our daughters ever in that situation. I agree, I hope the options continue to be there for them, without fear, danger and/or breaking the law.
Amen, sister
Wow, what a slice of yourself to share with us. That must have been a difficult time for you -- having to deal with what you knew to be the end of a relationship...and then what followed.
Labor Day has always been special for me. I was born on Labor Day. My mother went into Labor on Labor Day. LOL
I am 39 now. Sigh.
Happy belated Birthday. I think I was more nervous to turn 39 than 40. In case you are, don't fret this year. 40 is actually kinda cool - so far. : )
And yes, it was a very tough time emotionally, mostly because I was in love and my relationship ended. And then to have it topped off with that situation which wasn't handled maturely or with very much respect on his end.
But, honestly, it's been 19 years. He apologized long ago and gave me the closure that I needed (and vice versa.)
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